An old lady, being told that a certain lawyer was lying
An old lady, being told that a certain lawyer "was lying at the point of death," exclaimed: "My Gracious! Won't even death stop that man's lying?" ... An old-maid being at a loss for a pin-cushion made use of an onion for the purpose
An old-maid being at a loss for a pin-cushion, made use of an onion for the purpose. On the following morning she found all the needles had tears in their eyes. ... And did you never kiss a girl under the mistletoe
"And did you never kiss a girl under the mistletoe?" "Well, no; its pleasanter to kiss her under the nose." ... And so Prof
"And so Prof. Greene has at last discovered the missing link! Where did he find it?" "Under the bureau, I understand." ... And you really believe that Friday is an unlucky day
"And you really believe that Friday is an unlucky day?" "I know it is." "Washington was born on Friday, and so was Napoleon and Tennyson and Gladstone." "Yes, and every mother's son of them is dead!" ... And you really think that a miss is as good as a mile
"And you really think that a miss is as good as a mile?" "Yaas, and a good deal better, for one can kiss a miss, when one couldn't kiss a mile, don'cher know?" ... Another great discovery of diamonds in Kentucky
Another great discovery of diamonds in Kentucky! A man got five of them on the first deal. ... Anything new in your neighborhood
"Anything new in your neighborhood?" we asked a farmer. "Yes, the whole neighborhood is stirred up," he replied. "What is the cause?" we asked eagerly. "Ploughing." ... Are any of the colors discernible to the touch
"Are any of the colors discernible to the touch?" asked the school teacher. "I have often felt blue," replied the boy at the head of the class. ... Are you an amateur photographer
"Are you an amateur photographer?" "No. Why do you ask?" "Oh, I heard that you got Miss Rox's negative last night." ... Are you engaged
"Are you engaged?" inquired the lady of Bridget at the intelligence office. "No, mum, but I have regular company for four nights o' the week." ... Are you intimate with any of the nobility
"Are you intimate with any of the nobility?" asked Chippy. "Well, rather!" replied Clubdoodle. "I got a queen full last night, and had a high old time with four kings." ... Are you the photographer
"Are you the photographer?" "Yes sir." "Do you take children's pictures?" "Yes sir." "How much do you charge?" "Three dollars a dozen." "Well, I have to see you again. I've only got eleven." ... Are your folks well to do
"Are your folks well to do?" "No. They're hard to do." ... Aren't you afraid dear you'll catch cold in the scanty bathing robe
"Aren't you afraid, dear, you'll catch cold in the scanty bathing robe?" he asked. "Oh, no," replied the dashing bride. "This is a very warm suit, hubby, dear." ...

Whether tall men or short men are best Or bold men or modest and shy men I can't say but this I protest All the fair are in favor of Hy-men Charlemagne was in need of amusement Couples making love will beware of the rubber plant Ma what is a Panama man called Ah Adversity is not without comfort--your enemy may be in harder luck than you Yes there is one part of the dough-nut that wouldn't give you dyspepsia MRS

What's the matter here MRS How by the statesman insincere Man's weary soul is vexed When we first dined at a cafe We feared they'd drop their trays but later We learned somewhat to our dismay It takes--as scores of men will say-- A big tip to upset a waiter Rowley Powley pudding and pie Kissed the girls and made them cry To-morrow never comes they say; But all such talk is idle gush For when we have a debt to pay To-morrow gets there with a rush 'Tis now the wily urchin mocks The lynx-eyed cop along the docks And plunges in the cooling tide Arrayed in naught else but his hide An emblem of tenuity We witness every day; Behold the corset-and you'll see The whale-bone comes to STAY