HE--The fact is you women make fools of the men
HE--"The fact is, you women make fools of the men."
SHE--"Sometimes, perhaps; but sometimes we don't have to."
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He was a genial smiling man
And fond of whisky plain
But when he joined the temperance club
He never smiled again
He was a genial, smiling man And fond of whisky plain, But when he joined the temperance club, He never smiled again. ... He went on a lark So his wife did remark And some angry words too did she mutter
He went on a lark, So his wife did remark, And some angry words, too, did she mutter. On a lark he went out, Of that fact there's no doubt, But he came in, alas! on a shutter. ... He who courts and goes away May court again another day; But he who weds and courts girls still May go to court against his will
He who courts and goes away, May court again another day; But he who weds and courts girls still May go to court against his will. ... He's a professional grafter
"He's a professional grafter." "Who?" "The nurseryman." ... He's quite a star as an after dinner speaker isn't he
"He's quite a star as an after dinner speaker, isn't he?" "Star? He's a regular moon. He becomes brighter the fuller he gets." ... HE--Did you ever see anything at so-called bargain sales that was really cheap
HE--Did you ever see anything at so-called bargain sales that was really cheap? SHE--Yes; the look on the man's face who accompanied his wife to one of them. ... HE--Didn't you promise to love honor and obey me
HE--"Didn't you promise to love, honor and obey me?" SHE--"Heaven only knows what I promised. I was listening to hear what you promised." ... HE--Don't you think Miss Plainly is the very image of her mother
HE--Don't you think Miss Plainly is the very image of her mother? SHE--Yes, indeed; the resemblance is something awful. ... HE--How does it happen that none of you women have come forward with a new currency plan
HE--How does it happen that none of you women have come forward with a new currency plan? SHE--Oh, we already have a perfect one. When we need currency we just sit down and cry for it. ... HE--I saw you out driving yesterday with a gentleman
HE--"I saw you out driving yesterday with a gentleman. He appeared to have only one arm; is that all he has?" SHE--"Oh, no; the other arm was around somewhere." ... HE--I'll go to-morrow and buy a diamond engagement ring
HE--I'll go to-morrow and buy a diamond engagement ring. SHE--Now, George, for the first time your talk has the true ring in it. ... HE--The bride looks radiant as brides usually do
HE--The bride looks radiant, as brides usually do. SHE--Yes, but the bridegroom appears rather run down. HE--Run down eh? That's just it; caught after a long chase. ... HE--The fact is you women make fools of the men
HE--"The fact is, you women make fools of the men." SHE--"Sometimes, perhaps; but sometimes we don't have to." ... HE--Then I am to understand that you have given me the mitten as it were
HE--Then I am to understand that you have given me the mitten, as it were? SHE--You have said it. HE--And is this all? SHE--Of course it is. What more do you want--a pair of socks? ... HE--Time and tide wait for no man
HE--Time and tide wait for no man. SHE--No, but a woman will. ... He--Why has he put her picture in his watch
He--Why has he put her picture in his watch? She--Because he thinks she will love him in time. ... HE--Yes she is living under an assumed name
HE--"Yes, she is living under an assumed name." SHE--"Horrible! What is it?" HE--"The one she assumed immediately after her husband married her!" ... HE--You saw some old ruins while in England I presume
HE--You saw some old ruins while in England, I presume? SHE--Yes, indeed! And one of them wanted to marry me. ... HE: Do you know dear you remind me of Huyler's candy
HE: Do you know, dear, you remind me of Huyler's candy. SHE: Why? Because I am "so sweet?" HE: No! "Fresh every hour." ... Held by the enemy--the ulster which we are unable to redeem
"Held by the enemy"--the ulster which we are unable to redeem. ... Her face was happy His face was stern; Her hand was in his'n His'n was in her'n
Her face was happy, His face was stern; Her hand was in his'n, His'n was in her'n. ... Here is a chestnut your ire arouses So often it's brought to your minds People who live in glass houses Should always pull down the blinds
Here is a chestnut your ire arouses, So often it's brought to your minds, "People who live in glass houses" Should always "pull down the blinds." ... Here lies poor Sam: and what is strange Grim death has worked in him a change---- He always lied and always will He once lied loud and now lies still
"Here lies poor Sam: and what is strange, Grim death has worked in him a change---- He always lied and always will, He once lied loud and now lies still." ... Here's an account of a hen which layed three eggs at once and then died remarked Mrs
"Here's an account of a hen which layed three eggs at once, and then died," remarked Mrs. Sumway. "From over-eggsertion, probably," commented her husband. ...