TEACHER--When does suicide become a crime
TEACHER--When does suicide become a crime?
SMART BOY--When it becomes a confirmed habit.
"Nonsense, sir. Why is suicide a crime?"
"Because it injures the health."
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Some one threw a head of cabbage at an Irish orator while he was
making a speech once
Some one threw a head of cabbage at an Irish orator while he was making a speech once. He paused a second, and said: "Gentlemen, I only asked for your ears, I don't care for your heads!" He was not bothered any more during the remainder of his spe... Some people who jump at conclusions lose sight of the hurdles
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Take away my first letter, take away my second letter, take away all my letters and I am still the same. What am I? The postman. ... TEACHER OF DRAWING CLASS--Willie tell me how you would make a maltese cross
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TEACHER--Yes, dear; ova refers to an egg. WILLY--Then when they throw bad eggs at an actor he gets a literal ovation, I s'pose. ... Telephone operators are always bound to have the last word; that's why females are always employed in that capacity
Telephone operators are always bound to have the last word; that's why females are always employed in that capacity. ... That cook would make a good baseball player
"That cook would make a good baseball player." "Why so?" "A fly got into the batter when she was serving the griddles, and the way she caught that fly from the batter was a sight to rush an umpire into an early grave." ... That man has had five wives
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"That," said the loaf, pointing to the oven, "is where I was bred." ... That sounds like the charity bawl said the nurse as the babies in the orphan asylum began to yell
"That sounds like the charity bawl," said the nurse, as the babies in the orphan asylum began to yell. ... That tenor of yours has a marvelous voice
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The butcher is a fair minded fellow. He is always willing to meet his customers half weigh. ...