Why are you sad Bill
"Why are you sad, Bill?"
"Oh, I am troubled with dyspepsia."
"How can that be?"
"I got licked at school 'cause I couldn't spell it."
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When the penniless lordling to get a rich wife
Of his own nationality fails
He crosses the ocean with heart light and gay
And robs the United States males
When the penniless lordling to get a rich wife Of his own nationality fails, He crosses the ocean with heart light and gay And robs the United States males. ... When was money first invented
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"When were walking-sticks first invented?" "When?" "When Eve presented Adam with a little Cain." ... When you see a young man cleaning a girl's bicycle they are engaged; but when you see the operation reversed they are married
When you see a young man cleaning a girl's bicycle, they are engaged; but when you see the operation reversed, they are married. ... Where are you going my pretty maid
"Where are you going, my pretty maid?" "Out automobiling, sir," she said. "May I go with you, my pretty maid?" "If you can steer the old thing, you may," she said. ... Where are you going my pretty maid
"Where are you going, my pretty maid?" "I'm going to cut the corn," she said. "Can I go with you, my pretty maid?" "You're no chiropodist," she said. ... Where are you working now
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"Who was the first one that came from the ark when it landed." "Noah." "You are wrong. Don't the good book tell us that Noah came forth? So there must have been three ahead of him." ... Why are pugilists like chickens
"Why are pugilists like chickens?" "Because they live on 'scraps!'" ... Why are you sad Bill
"Why are you sad, Bill?" "Oh, I am troubled with dyspepsia." "How can that be?" "I got licked at school 'cause I couldn't spell it." ... Why did you insist on only $99000 a year as your salary
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"Why do all bank cashiers run to Canada?" "Give it up." "Because that's the only place Toronto." ... Why do they make those Oriental pipes with bowls as big as water pitchers
"Why do they make those Oriental pipes with bowls as big as water pitchers?" asked the inquisitive girl. "Those," answered the wise woman, "are for men who have promised that they will confine their smoking to one pipe after each meal." ... Why do you call him 'Mr
"Why do you call him 'Mr. Gimlet?' That isn't his name." "I know. But he's such a bore!" ... Why do you call that colored man a blackmailer
"Why do you call that colored man a blackmailer." "Because he is employed at the post-office. And that ain't the worst of it." "No?" "No, sir; his wife takes hush money." "You don't say so!" "I do. She's a child nurse." ... Why do you call your dog hardware
"Why do you call your dog hardware?" "Because when I go to whip him he makes a bolt for the door." ... Why does a donkey eat thistles
"Why does a donkey eat thistles?" asked a Texas teacher of one of the largest boys in the class. "Because he is an ass, I reckon." ... Why don't you demand $50000 instead of $5000
"Why don't you demand $50,000 instead of $5,000?" said the lawyer. "Oh, because," explained the lady of the breach of promise suit. "Then he might change his mind and want to marry me." ... Why is a kiss like the three graces
"Why is a kiss like the three graces?" "Its faith to a girl; hope to a young woman and charity to an old maid." ... Why is a railroad train like a bedbug
Why is a railroad train like a bedbug? It runs over the sleepers. ... Why is Miss B---- wearing black
"Why is Miss B---- wearing black?" "She is in mourning for her husband." "Why, she never had a husband!" "No, that is why she mourns." ...