"Yes, ma'am," the old salt confided to the inquisitive lady, "I fell

over the side of the ship, and a shark he come along and grabbed me by

the leg."

"Merciful providence!" his hearer gasped. "And what did you do?"

"Let 'im 'ave the leg, o' course, ma'am. I never argues with sharks."


An American tourist and his wife, after their return from abroa
, were

telling of the wonders seen by them at the Louvre in Paris. The husband

mentioned with enthusiasm a picture which represented Adam and Eve and

the serpent in the Garden of Eden, in connection with the eating of the

forbidden fruit. The wife also waxed enthusiastic, and interjected a


"Yes, we found the picture most interesting, most interesting indeed,

because, you see, we know the anecdote."

* * *

The Yankee tourist described glowingly the statue of a beautiful woman

which he had seen in an art museum abroad.

"And the way she stood, so up and coming, was grand. But," he added,

with a tone of disgust, "those foreigners don't know how to spell. The

name of the statue was Posish'--and it was some posish, believe me! and

the dumb fools spelt it--'Psyche!'"

* * *

"Tell me, does your husband snore?"

"Oh, yes, indeed--so delightfully."


"Yes, really--he's so musical you know, his voice is baritone, he only

snores operatic bits, mostly _Aida_."

* * *

The packer from Chicago admired a picture by Rosa Bonheur.

"How much is that?" he demanded. The dealer quoted the price as $5,000.

"Holy pig's feet!" the magnate spluttered. "For that money, I can buy

live hogs and----"

His wife nudged him in the ribs, and whispered:

"Don't talk shop."