"Yes, ma'am," the old salt confided to the inquisitive lady, "I fell
over the side of the ship, and a shark he come along and grabbed me by
"Merciful providence!" his hearer gasped. "And what did you do?"
"Let 'im 'ave the leg, o' course, ma'am. I never argues with sharks."
An American tourist and his wife, after their return from abroa
telling of the wonders seen by them at the Louvre in Paris. The husband
mentioned with enthusiasm a picture which represented Adam and Eve and
the serpent in the Garden of Eden, in connection with the eating of the
forbidden fruit. The wife also waxed enthusiastic, and interjected a
"Yes, we found the picture most interesting, most interesting indeed,
because, you see, we know the anecdote."
* * *
The Yankee tourist described glowingly the statue of a beautiful woman
which he had seen in an art museum abroad.
"And the way she stood, so up and coming, was grand. But," he added,
with a tone of disgust, "those foreigners don't know how to spell. The
name of the statue was Posish'--and it was some posish, believe me! and
the dumb fools spelt it--'Psyche!'"
* * *
"Tell me, does your husband snore?"
"Oh, yes, indeed--so delightfully."
"Yes, really--he's so musical you know, his voice is baritone, he only
snores operatic bits, mostly _Aida_."
* * *
The packer from Chicago admired a picture by Rosa Bonheur.
"How much is that?" he demanded. The dealer quoted the price as $5,000.
"Holy pig's feet!" the magnate spluttered. "For that money, I can buy
live hogs and----"
His wife nudged him in the ribs, and whispered:
"Don't talk shop."