Couldn't Resist It


"Look here," began the youth, as he entered a butcher's shop, and

displayed two lovely-looking black-and-blue eyes, "you have fresh beef

for sale?"



"I have," responded the butcher.



"And fresh beef is good for black eyes, is it not?"



"It is."



"Very well. I have the eyes, you have the beef. Do you think you can

sell me a pound or so without asking how I
got ornamented?"



"I'll do my best, sir."



The butcher cut off the meat, and received his money without another

look at his customer. At the last moment, however, the old Adam proved

too strong for him.



"Look here," he said, handing back the cash, "I'll make you a present of

the beef. Now tell me all about the fight."



* * *



"Do you know anything about palmistry, Herbert?" she asked.



"Oh, not much," he answered, "although I had an experience last night

which might be considered a remarkable example of palmistry. I happened

to glance at the hand of a friend, and I immediately predicted he would

presently become the possessor of a considerable amount of money. Before

he left the room he had a nice little sum handed to him."



"And you foretold that from his hand?"



"Yes, it had four aces in it."



* * *



Young Harold was late for Sunday-school and the minister inquired the

cause. "I was going fishing, but father wouldn't let me," announced the

lad.



"That's the right kind of a father to have," replied the reverend

gentleman. "Did he explain the reason why he would not let you go?"



"Yes, sir. He said there wasn't bait enough for two."



* * *



"My good man, you had better take the trolley car home."



"Sh' no ushe! My wife wouldn't let me--hic--keep it in th' house."



* * *



_Mrs. Newlywed:_ "Oh, Jack, you left the kitchen door open and the

draught has shut my cookery book, so that now I haven't the faintest

idea what it is I'm cooking."



* * *



"Goin' in that house over there?" said the first tramp.



"I tried that house last week. I ain't goin' there any more," replied

Tramp No. 2.



"'Fraid on account of the dog?"



"Me trousers are."



"Trousers are what?"



"Frayed on account of the dog."



* * *



More

;