Insult

The young wife greeted her husband tearfully on his return from the

day's work.



"Oh, Willie, darling," she gasped, "I have been so insulted!"



"Insulted!" Willie exclaimed wrathfully. "Insulted by whom?"



"By your mother!" the wife declared, and sobbed aloud.



The husband was aghast, but inclined to be skeptical.



"By my mother, Ella? Why, dearest, that' nonsense. She's a hundred

miles away."



"But she did," the wife insisted. "A letter came to you this morning,

and it was addressed in your mother's writing, so, of course, I opened

it."



"Oh, yes, of course," Willie agreed, without any enthusiasm.



"And it was written to you all the whole way through, every word of it,

except----"



"Except what?"



"Except the postscript," the wife flared. "That was the insult--that was

to me." The tears flowed again. "It said: 'P. S.--Dear Ella, don't fail

to give this letter to Willie. I want him to read it.'"



* * *



Tom Corwin was remarkable for the size of his mouth. He claimed that he

had been insulted by a deacon of his church.



"When I stood up in the class meeting, to relate my experience," Corwin

explained, "and opened my mouth, the Deacon rose up in front and said,

'Will some brother please close that window, and keep it closed!'"