Profiteers


The wife of the profiteer discoursed largely on the luxuries of the new

country estate.



"And, of course," she vouchsafed, "we have all the usual

animals--horses, cows, sheep, pigs, hens, and so forth."



"Oh, hens!" the listener gushed. "Then you'll have fresh eggs."



"Really, I'm not sure. The hens can work, if they like, but of course in

our position, it's quite unnecessary--er,
perhaps not quite suitable,

you know."



* * *



The advertisement offered for fifty cents a recipe by which to whiten

the hands and soften them. Girls who sent the money received the

following directions:



"Soak the hands three times a day in dish water while mother rests."



* * *



"Are you sure this handbag is genuine crocodile skin?" the woman asked

the shopkeeper.



"Absolutely," was the reply. "I shot that crocodile myself."



"But it is badly soiled."



"Well, yes, of course. That's where it hit the ground, when it fell out

of the tree."



* * *



Customer: "But if it costs twenty dollars to make these watches, and you

sell them for twenty dollars, where does your profit come in?"



Shopkeeper: "That comes from repairing them."



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