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Carving

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An accomplished gentleman, when carving a tough goose, had the
misfortune to send it entirely out of the dish, and into the lap of the
lady next to him; on which he very coolly looked her full in the face, and
with admirable gravity and calmness, said, "Madam, may I trouble you for
that goose." In a case like this, a person must, necessarily, suffer so
much, and be such an object of compassion to the company, that the kindest
thing he can do is to appear as unmoved as possible.


Lord Peterborough was once taken by the mob for the duke of Marlborough
(who was then in disgrace with them), and being about to be roughly treated
by these friends to summary justice, he told them, "Gentlemen, I can
convince you, by two reasons, that I am not the duke of Marlborough. In the
first place, I have only five guineas in my pocket; and, in the second,
they are heartily at your service." So throwing his purse amongst them, he
got out of their hands, with loud huzzas and acclamations.





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