Full Proof
LORD PETERBOROUGH was once taken by the mob for the great Duke of
Marlborough (who was then in disgrace with them); and being about to be
roughly treated, said,--Gentlemen, I can convince you by two reasons
that I am not the Duke of Marlborough. In the first place, I have only
five guineas in my pocket; and in the second, they are heartily at
your service. He got out of their hands with loud huzzas and
acclamations.
More
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Fishy Rather
LORD ELLENBOROUGH, on his return from Hone's trial, suddenly stopped his carriage at Charing Cross, and said, It occurs to me that they sell the best herrings in London at that shop. Buy six. ... Flattery Turned To Advantage
A DEPENDANT was praising his patron for many virtues which he did not possess. I will do all in my power to prevent you lying, answered he. ... Flying Colors
SIR GODFREY KNELLER latterly painted more for profit than for praise, and is said to have used some whimsical preparations in his colors, which made them work fair and smoothly off, but not endure. A friend, noticing it to him, said, What do you thi... Following A Leader
FRANKLIN, when ambassador to France, being at a meeting of a literary society, and not well understanding the French when declaimed, determined to applaud when he saw a lady of his acquaintance express satisfaction. When they had ceased, a little ch... Foote
AN artist named Forfeit, having some job to do for Foote, got into a foolish scrape about the antiquity of family with another artist, who gave him such a drubbing as confined him to his bed for a considerable time. Forfeit! Forfeit! said Foote, why... Foote And Lord Townsend
FOOTE, dining one day with Lord Townsend, after his duel with Lord Bellamont, the wine being bad, and the dinner ill-dressed, made Foote observe, that he could not discover what reason could compel his lordship to fight, when he might have effected ... Foote's Last Joke
WHEN Foote was on his way to France, for change of air, he went into the kitchen at the inn at Dover, to order a particular dish for dinner. The true English cook boasted that she had never set foot out of her country. On this, the invalid gravely o... Footiana
FOOTE praising the hospitality of the Irish, after one of his trips to the sister kingdom, a gentleman asked him whether he had ever been at Cork. No, sir, replied Foote; but I have seen many drawings of it. ... Foraging
DURING the interregnum after the death of King Charles I., the soldiers were accustomed to visit the theatres and rob the audience, so that it was said to be part of the stage directions,--Enter the Red Coat: Exeunt Hat and Cloak. ... Force Of Habit
A SERVANT of an old maiden lady, a patient of Dr. Poole, formerly of Edinburgh, was under orders to go to the doctor every morning to report the state of her health, how she had slept, &c., with strict injunctions always to add, with her compliments... Force Of Nature
S----'S head appears to be placed in most accurate conformity with the law of nature, in obedience to which that which is most empty is generally uppermost. ... Fortunate Stars
MY stars! cried a courtier, with stars and lace twirled, What homage we nobles command in the world! True, my lord, said a wag, though the world has its jars, Some people owe much to their fortunate stars! ... French Language
WHEN some one was expatiating on the merits of the French language to Mr. Canning, he exclaimed: Why, what on earth, sir, can be expected of a language which has but one word for liking and loving, and puts a fine woman and a leg of mutton on a par:... French Precipitation
THE late Mr. Petion, who was sent over into this country to acquire a knowledge of our criminal law, is said to have declared himself thoroughly informed upon the subject, after remaining precisely two-and-thirty minutes in the Old Bailey. ... Full Inside
CHARLES LAMB, one afternoon, in returning from a dinner-party, took his seat in a crowded omnibus, when a stout gentleman subsequently looked in and politely asked, All full inside?--I don't know how it may be, sir, with the other passengers, answer... Full Proof
LORD PETERBOROUGH was once taken by the mob for the great Duke of Marlborough (who was then in disgrace with them); and being about to be roughly treated, said,--Gentlemen, I can convince you by two reasons that I am not the Duke of Marlborough. In ... Funeral Invitation
SIR BOYLE ROACH had a servant who was as great an original as his master. Two days after the death of the baronet, this man waited upon a gentleman, who had been a most intimate friend of Sir Boyle, for the purpose of telling him that the time at wh... G A'b
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... Gambling
I NEVER by chance hear the rattling of dice that it doesn't sound to me ... Garrick And Foote
THE Lying Valet being one hot night annexed as an afterpiece to the comedy of The Devil upon Two Sticks, Garrick, coming into the Green Room, with exultation called out to Foote, Well, Sam, I see, after all, you are glad to take up with one of my fa... Garth And Rowe
DOCTOR GARTH, who used frequently to go to the Wit's Coffee House, the Cocoa-Tree, in St. James's Street, was sitting there one morning conversing with two persons of rank, when Rowe, the poet, who was seldom very attentive to his dress and appearan... General Wolfe
GENERAL WOLFE invited a Scotch officer to dine with him; the same day he was also invited by some brother officers. You must excuse me, said he to them; I am already engaged to Wolfe. A smart young ensign observed, he might as well have expressed hi... Generosity And Prudence
FRANK, who will any friend supply, ... Gently Jemmy
SIR JAMES MACKINTOSH invited Dr. Parr to take a drive in his gig. The horse became restive. Gently, Jemmy, says the doctor, don't irritate him; always soothe your horse, Jemmy. You'll do better without me. Let me down, Jemmy. Once on terra-firma, th... Genuine Laziness
A YOUNG farmer, inspecting his father's concerns in the time of hay-harvest, found a body of the mowers asleep, when they should have been at work. What is this? cried the youth; why, me, you are so indolent, that I would give a crown to know which ... George Ii And The Recorder
WHEN that vacancy happened on the Exchequer Bench which was afterwards filled by Mr. Adams, the Ministry could not agree among themselves whom to appoint. It was debated in Council, the King, George II., being present; till, the dispute growing very... George Selwyn
THIS gentleman, travelling in a stage-coach, was interrupted by the frequent impertinence of a companion, who was constantly teazing him with questions and asking him how he did. How are you now, sir? said the impertinent. George, in order to get ri...