A Medical Opinion
AN unfortunate man, who had never drank water enough to warrant the disease, was reduced to such a state by dropsy, that a consultation of physicians was held upon his case. They agreed that tapping was necessary, and the poor patient was invited to... A Merry Thought
THEY cannot be complete in aught Who are not humorously prone; A man without a merry thought Can hardly have a funny bone. ... A Michaelmas Meeting
SAMUEL TAYLOR COLERIDGE was so bad a horseman, that when mounted he generally attracted unfavorable notice. On a certain occasion he was riding along a turnpike road, in the county of Durham, when he was met by a wag, who, mistaking his man, thought... A Military Axiom
AN old soldier having been brought up to vote at an election at the expense of one of the candidates, voted for his opponent, and when reproached for his conduct, replied, Always quarter upon the enemy, my lads; always quarter upon the enemy. ... A Mistake
OLD Dick Baldwin stoutly maintained that no man ever died of drinking. Some puny things, he said, have died of learning to drink, but no man ever died of drinking. Mr. Baldwin was no mean authority; for he spoke from great practical experience, and ... A Model Philanthropist
BOBBY, what does your father do for a living?--He's a philanthropist, sir.--A what?--A phi-lan-thro-pist, sir,--he collects money for Central America, and builds houses out of the proceeds. ... A Modern Sculptor
BROWN and Smith were met by an overdressed individual, Do you know that chap, Smith? said Brown. Yes, I know him; that is, I know of him,--he's a sculptor.--Such a fellow as that a sculptor! surely you must be mistaken.--He may not be the kind of on... A Money-lender
THE best fellow in the world, sir, to get money of; for as he sends you half cash, half wine, why, if you can't take up his bill, you've always ... A Monster
SYDNEY SMITH said that the Court of Chancery was like a boa-constrictor, which swallowed up the estates of English gentlemen in haste, and digested them at leisure. ... A Mot Of De Foe
WHEN Sir Richard Steele was made a member of the Commons, it was expected from his writings that he would have been an admirable orator; but not proving so, De Foe said, He had better have continued the Spectator than the Tatler. ... A Musical Blow-up
THE Rev. Mr. B----, when residing at Canterbury some years ago, was reckoned a good violoncello-player. His sight being dim obliged him very often to snuff the candles, and in lieu of snuffers he generally employed his fingers in that office, thrust... A Mystery Cleared Up
W----, they say, is bright! yet to discover The fact you vainly in St. Stephen's sit. But hold! Extremes will meet: the marvel's over; His very dulness is the extreme of wit. ... A Nameless Man
A GENTLEMAN, thinking he was charged too much by a porter for the delivery of a parcel, asked him what his name was. My name, replied the man, is the same as my father's.--And what is his name? said the gentleman. It is the same as mine.--Then what ... A Neat Quotation
LORD NORBURY asking the reason of the delay that happened in a cause, was told that Mr. Serjeant Joy, who was to lead, was absent, but Mr. Hope, the solicitor, had said that he would return immediately. His lordship humorously repeated the well-know... A Neat Suggestion
A WELSH judge, celebrated as a suitor for all sorts of places and his neglect of personal cleanliness, was thus addressed by Mr. Jekyll: As you have asked the Ministry for everything else, ask them for a piece of soap and a nailbrush. ...

A Walking Stick Idolatry Erudite White Teeth An Honor To Tipperary Ingratitude Welsh Wig-ging A New Sign

The Tanner; An Epigram A Pertinent Question Henry Erskine Walpoliana Very Likely A Seasonable Joke Measure For Measure The Debt Paid