BIGAMY
There once was an old man of Lyme. Who married three wives at a time: When asked, "Why a third?" He replied, "One's absurd! And bigamy, sir, is a crime." ... BILLS
The proverb, "Where there's a will there's a way" is now revised to "When there's a bill we're away." YOUNG DOCTOR--"Why do you always ask your patients what they have for dinner?" OLD DOCTOR--"It's a most important question, for according ... BIRTHDAYS
When a man has a birthday he takes a day off, but when a woman has a birthday she takes a year off. ... BLUFFING
Francis Wilson, the comedian, says that many years ago when he was a member of a company playing "She Stoops to Conquer," a man without any money, wishing to see the show, stepped up to the box-office in a small town and said: "Pass me in, plea... BLUNDERS
An early morning customer in an optician's shop was a young woman with a determined air. She addressed the first salesman she saw. "I want to look at a pair of eyeglasses, sir, of extra magnifying power." "Yes, ma'am," replied the salesman; "som... BOASTING
Maybe the man who boasts that he doesn't owe a dollar in the world couldn't if he tried. "What sort of chap is he?" "Well, after a beggar has touched him for a dime he'll tell you he 'gave a little dinner to an acquaintance of his.'"--_R.R. ... BONANZAS
A certain Congressman had disastrous experience in goldmine speculations. One day a number of colleagues were discussing the subject of his speculation, when one of them said to this Western member: "Old chap, as an expert, give us a definition... BOOKKEEPING
Tommy, fourteen years old, arrived home for the holidays, and at his father's request produced his account book, duly kept at school. Among the items "S. P. G." figured largely and frequently. "Darling boy," fondly exclaimed his doting mamma: "se... BOOKS AND READING
LADY PRESIDENT--"What book has helped you most?" NEW MEMBER--"My husband's check-book."--_Martha Young_. "You may send me up the complete works of Shakespeare, Goethe and Emerson--also something to read." There are three classes of book... BOOKSELLERS AND BOOKSELLING
A bookseller reports these mistakes of customers in sending orders: ... BOOKWORMS
"A book-worm," said papa, "is a person who would rather read than eat, or it is a worm that would rather eat than read." ... BOOMERANGS
_See_ Repartee; Retaliation. ... BORES
"What kind of a looking man is that chap Gabbleton you just mentioned? I don't believe I have met him." "Well, if you see two men off in a corner anywhere and one of them looks bored to death, the other is Gabbleton."--_Puck_. A man who was... BORROWERS
A well-known but broken-down Detroit newspaper man, who had been a power in his day, approached an old friend the other day in the Pontchartrain Hotel and said: "What do you think? I have just received the prize insult of my life. A paper down ... BOSSES
The insurance agent climbed the steps and rang the bell. "Whom do you wish to see?" asked the careworn person who came to the door. "I want to see the boss of the house," replied the insurance agent. "Are you the boss?" "No," meekly return...

AFTER DINNER SPEECHES LIARS THIN PEOPLE EMPLOYERS AND EMPLOYEES COURAGE FAITH FORGETFULNESS GUESTS

RECONCILIATIONS SPECULATION SYNONYMS DESCRIPTION MATHEMATICS SUBWAYS INQUISITIVENESS FAILURES