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BOSTON
A tourist from the east, visiting an old prospector in his lonely cabin in the hills, commented: "And yet you seem so cheerful and happy." "Yes," replied the one of the pick and shovel. "I spent a week in Boston once, and no matter what happens to...
BOXING
John L. Sullivan was asked why he had never taken to giving boxing lessons. "Well, son, I tried it once," replied Mr. Sullivan. "A husky young man took one lesson from me and went home a little the worse for wear. When he came around for his se...
BOYS
A certain island in the West Indies is liable to the periodical advent of earthquakes. One year before the season of these terrestrial disturbances, Mr. X., who lived in the danger zone, sent his two sons to the home of a brother in England, to se...
BREAKFAST FOODS
Pharaoh had just dreamed of the seven full and the seven blasted ears of corn. "You are going to invent a new kind of breakfast food," interpreted Joseph.--_Judge_. ...
BREATH
One day a teacher was having a first-grade class in physiology. She asked them if they knew that there was a burning fire in the body all of the time. One little girl spoke up and said: "Yes'm, when it is a cold day I can see the smoke." Sa...
BREVITY
An after-dinner speaker was called on to speak on "The Antiquity of the Microbe." He arose and said, "Adam had 'em," and then sat down. A negro servant, on being ordered to announce visitors to a dinner party, was directed to call out in a lou...
BRIBERY
A judge, disgusted with a jury that seemed unable to reach an agreement in a perfectly evident case, rose and said, "I discharge this jury." One sensitive talesman, indignant at what he considered a rebuke, obstinately faced the judge. "You c...
BRIDES
"My dear," said the young husband as he took the bottle of milk from the dumb-waiter and held it up to the light, "have you noticed that there's never cream on this milk?" "I spoke to the milkman about it," she replied, "and he explained that t...
BRIDGE WHIST
"How about the sermon?" "The minister preached on the sinfulness of cheating at bridge." "You don't say! Did he mention any names?" ...
BROOKLYN
At the Brooklyn Bridge.--"Madam, do you want to go to Brooklyn?" "No, I have to."--_Life_. ...
BRYAN, WILLIAM JENNINGS
Some time after the presidential election of 1908, one of Champ Clark's friends noticed that he still wore one of the Bryan watch fobs so popular during the election. On being asked the reason for this, Champ replied: "Oh, that's to keep my watch ...
BUILDINGS
Pat had gone back home to Ireland and was telling about New York. "Have they such tall buildings in America as they say, Pat?" asked the parish priest. "Tall buildings ye ask, sur?" replied Pat. "Faith, sur, the last one I worked on we had to...
BURGLARS
A burglar was one night engaged in the pleasing occupation of stowing a good haul of swag in his bag when he was startled by a touch on the shoulder, and, turning his head, he beheld a venerable, mild-eyed clergyman gazing sadly at him. "Oh, my...
BUSINESS
A Boston lawyer, who brought his wit from his native Dublin, while cross-examining the plaintiff in a divorce trial, brought forth the following: "You wish to divorce this woman because she drinks?" "Yes, sir." "Do you drink yourself?" ...
BUSINESS ENTERPRISE
It happened in Topeka. Three clothing stores were on the same block. One morning the middle proprietor saw to the right of him a big sign--"Bankrupt Sale," and to the left--"Closing Out at Cost." Twenty minutes later there appeared over his own do...
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