The visiting Englishman, with an eyeglass screwed to his eye, stared in

fascinated horror at the ugliest infant he had ever seen, which was in

its mother's arms opposite him in the street car. At last, his fixed

gaze attracted the mother's attention, then excited her indignation.

"Rubber!" she piped wrathfully.

"Thank God!" exclaimed the Englishman. "I fancied it might be real."

* * *

The teacher had explained to the class that the Indian women are called

squaws. Then she asked what name was given to the children?

"Porpoises," came one eager answer.

But a little girl whose father bred pigeons, called excitedly:

"Please, teacher, they're squabs!"