SPEED
"I always said old Cornelius Husk was slow," said one Quag man to
another.
"Why, what's he been doin' now?" the other asked.
"Got himself run over by a hearse!"
"So you heard the bullet whiz past you?" asked the lawyer of the darky.
"Yes, sah, heard it twict."
"How's that?"
"Heard it whiz when it passed me, an
heard it again when I passed it."
A near race riot happened in a southern town. The negroes gathered in
one crowd and the whites in another. The whites fired their revolvers
into the air, and the negroes took to their heels. Next day a plantation
owner said to one of his men: "Sam, were you in that crowd that gathered
last night?" "Yassir." "Did you run like the wind, Sam?" "No, sir. I
didn't run like the wind,'deed I didn't. But I passed two niggers that
was running like the wind."
A guest in a Cincinnati hotel was shot and killed. The negro porter who
heard the shooting was a witness at the trial.
"How many shots did you hear?" asked the lawyer.
"Two shots, sah," he replied.
"How far apart were they?"
'"Bout like dis way," explained the negro, clapping his hands with an
interval of about a second between claps.
"Where were you when the first shot was fired?"
"Shinin' a gemman's shoe in the basement of de hotel."
"Where were you when the second shot was fired?"
"Ah was passin' de Big Fo' depot."