A Severe Spell Of Sickness
It is the easiest thing under heaven to be sick, if you can afford it.
What it costs some rich men for family sickness per annum, would keep
all the children in "a poor neighborhood" in "vittels" and clothes the
year round. When old Cauliflower took sick, once in a long life-time, he
was prevailed upon to send for Dr. Borax, and it was some weeks before
Cauliflower got down stairs again. At the end of the year Dr. Borax sent
in his bill; the amount gave Cauliflower spasms in his pocket-book, and
threatened a whole year's profits with strangulation.
"Doctor," says Cauliflower, "that bill of yours is all-fired steep,
"No, sir," says Borax; "your case was a dangerous case--I never raised a
man from the grave with such difficulty, in all my practice!"
"But, fifty-three calls, doctor, one hundred and six dollars."
"Exactly--two dollars a visit, sir," said the urbane doctor.
"And twenty-seven prescriptions, four plasters, &c.--eighty-one
"One hundred and eighty-seven dollars, sir."
"Well," says Cauliflower, "this may be all very well for people who
can af-ford it, but I can't; there's your money, doctor, but I'll bet
you won't catch me sick as that again--soon!"