Humbug

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There is no end to the humbug in life. About half we say, and more than
half we do, is tinged with humbug. "My Dear Sir," we say, when we
address a letter to a fellow we have never seen, and if seen, perhaps
don't care a continental cent for him; dear sir! what a humbug
expression! "Good morning," (what a lie!) says one, as he meets another
one, on a stormy and nasty day, "quite a disagreeable wet day!" What's
the use of such a humbug expression as that? If it's a disagreeable and
stormy day, every body finds it out, naturally. Full half of the people
who appear solicitous about your health, display a gratuitous amount
of humbug, for your pocket-book is more beloved than your health; and we
have often wondered why matter-of-fact people don't out with it, when
they meet, and say--"How's your pocket to-day? Sorry to hear you're out
of money!" Or, instead of soft soap, when they meet, why not discard
humbug, and say, "Sorry to see you--was blackguarding you all day!"
instead of "Glad to see you--have been thinking of you to-day!" or,
"I'm glad to see you've been elected Mayor of the city!" when in fact
they mean, "Curse you, I wish you had been defeated!" Compliments
pass, they say, when gentlemen meet, but, as there are so many
counterfeit gentry around, now-a-days, you may bet high that half the
compliments that pass are--mere bogus!

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Previous: Ralph Waldo Emerson

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