Appetite
The young man applied to the manager of the entertainment museum for employment as a freak, and the following dialogue occurred: "Who are you?" "I am Enoch, the egg king." "What is your specialty?" "I eat three dozen hen's eggs, two dozen ... Appreciation
The distinguished actor had a large photograph of Wordsworth prominently displayed in his dressing-room. A friend regarded the picture with some surprise, and remarked: "I see you are an admirer of Wordsworth." "Who's Wordsworth?" demanded the ... Argument
"Yes, ma'am," the old salt confided to the inquisitive lady, "I fell over the side of the ship, and a shark he come along and grabbed me by the leg." "Merciful providence!" his hearer gasped. "And what did you do?" "Let 'im 'ave the leg, o' cou... Arranged To Fit
_Elsie:_ "Mummy! if I wuz a fairy I'd change every-fing into cake, an' eat it all up." _Mother:_ "I'm afraid such a lot of cake would make you sick." _Elsie:_ "Oh! but I'd change myself into a Nelephant first." * ... Art And Nature
_Husband:_ "What was that you were playing, my dear?" _Wife:_ "Did you like it?" "It was lovely--the melody divine, the harmony exquisite!" "It is the very thing I played last evening, and you said it was horrid." "Well, the steak was burn... Athletics
The sister spoke admiringly to the collegian who was calling on her after field day, at which she had been present. "And how they did applaud when you broke that record!" Her little brother, who overheard, sniffed indignantly. "Pa didn't appl... Authors
A woman lion-hunter entertained a dinner party of distinguished authors. These discoursed largely during the meal, and bored one another and more especially their host, who was not literary. To wake himself up, he excused himself from the table with... Babies
The visiting Englishman, with an eyeglass screwed to his eye, stared in fascinated horror at the ugliest infant he had ever seen, which was in its mother's arms opposite him in the street car. At last, his fixed gaze attracted the mother's attention... Bad Both Ways
_Dobb:_ "What's that piece of cord tied around your finger for?" _Botham:_ "My wife put it there to remind me to post her letter." "And did you post it?" "No; she forgot to give it to me!" * * * ... Bait
A gentleman strolling alongside a canal observed an old negro and a colored boy fishing. A moment later, a splash was heard. The boy had fallen into the water. The old darky, however, jumped in after the lad, and succeeded in getting him safely to t... Baldness
A patient complained to the doctor that his hair was coming out. "Won't you give me something to keep it in?" he begged. "Take this," the doctor said kindly, and he handed the patient a pill box. ... Baptism
On the way to the baptism, the baby somehow loosened the stopper of his bottle, with the result that the milk made a frightful mess over the christening robe. The mother was greatly shamed, but she was compelled to hand over the child in its mussed ... Baptists
The old colored man left the Methodist Church and joined the Baptist. Soon afterward, he encountered his former pastor, who inquired the reason for his change of sect. The old man explained fully. "Fust off, I was 'Piscopal, but I hain't learned, ... Baseball
The teacher directed the class to write a brief account of a baseball game. All the pupils were busy during the allotted time, except one little boy, who sat motionless, and wrote never a word. The teacher gave him an additional five minutes, callin... Battle
_Teacher:_ "In which of his battles was King Gustavus Adolphus of Sweden slain?" _Pupil:_ "I'm pretty sure it was the last one." ...

Humility The Gloomy Guest Optimism Repentance Hospitality Recognition Baptism Physiology

Sarcasm Discretion Sympathy Economy Cause And Effect He Knew What He Preferred Appearances