The Gloomy Guest
Cause And Effect
What He Preferred
Played Them Both Up
None At All
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On the way to the baptism, the baby somehow loosened the stopper of his
bottle, with the result that the milk made a frightful mess over the
christening robe. The mother was greatly shamed, but she was compelled
to hand over the child in its mussed garments to the clergyman at the
"What name?" the clergyman whispered.
The agitated mother failed to understand, and thought that he complained
of the baby's condition. So she offered explanation in the words:
"Nozzle come off--nozzle come off!"
The clergyman, puzzled, repeated his whisper:
"Nozzle come off--nozzle come off!" The woman insisted, almost in tears.
The clergyman gave it up, and continued the rite:
"Nozzlecomeoff Smithers, I baptize thee in the name of the Father and of
the Son and of the Holy Ghost."
* * *
The aged negro clergyman announced solemnly from the pulpit:
"Next Sabbath, dar will be a baptism in dis chu'ch, at half-pas' ten in
de mawnin'. Dis baptism will be of two adults an' six adulteresses."