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All Jests Page 109
Truth And Fiction
A TRAVELLER relating his adventures, told the company that he and his servants had made fifty wild Arabs run; which startling them, he observed, that there was no great matter in it,--For, says he, we ran, and they ran after us. ...
Truth And Rhyme
IN the days of Charles II., candidates for holy orders were expected to respond in Latin to the various interrogatories put to them by the bishop or his examining chaplain. When the celebrated Dr. Isaac Barrow (who was fellow of Trinity College, and...
Truth Not Always To Be Spoken
IF a man were to set out calling everything by its right name, he would be knocked down before he got to the corner of the street. ...
Truth Not To Be Spoken At All Times
GARRICK was on a visit at Hagley, when news came that a company of players were going to perform at Birmingham. Lord Lyttelton said to Garrick, They will hear you are in the neighborhood, and will ask you to write an address to the Birmingham audien...
Truth _versus_ Politeness
AT a tea-party, where some Cantabs were present, the lady who was presiding Hoped the tea was good.--Very good, indeed, madam, was the general reply, till it came to the turn of one of the Cantabs, who, between truth and politeness observed, That th...
Trying To The Temper
LORD ALLEN, in conversation with Rogers, the poet, observed: I never put my razor into hot water, as I find it injures the temper of the blade.--No doubt of it, replied Rogers; show me the blade that is not out of temper when plunged into hot water....
Twice Ruined
I NEVER was ruined but twice, said a wit; once when I lost a lawsuit, and once when I gained one. ...
Two Carriages
TWO ladies disputed for precedency, one the daughter of a wealthy brewer, the other the daughter of a gentleman of small fortune. You are to consider, miss, said the brewer's daughter, that my papa keeps a coach.--Very true, miss, said the other, an...
Two Cures For Ague
BISHOP BLOMFIELD, when presiding over the diocese of London, had occasion to call the attention of the Essex incumbents to the necessity of residing in their parishes; and he reminded them that curates were, after all, of the same flesh and blood as...
Two Make A Pair
SOON after the attack of Margaret Nicholson on the life of George III., the following bill was stuck up in the window of an obscure alehouse: Here is to be seen the fork belonging to the knife with which Margaret Nicholson attempted to stab the King...
Two Of A Trade
WHEN Bannister was asked his opinion of a new singer that had appeared at Covent Garden, Why, said Charles, he may be Robin Hood this season, but he will be robbing Harris (the manager) the next. ...
Two Sides To A Speech
CHARLES LAMB sitting next some chattering woman at dinner, observing he didn't attend to her, You don't seem, said the lady, to be at all the better for what I am saying to you!--No, ma'am, he answered, but this gentleman on the other side of me mus...
Twofold Illustration
SIR FLETCHER NORTON was noted for his want of courtesy. When pleading before Lord Mansfield on some question of manorial right, he chanced unfortunately to say, My lord, I can illustrate the point in an instant in my own person: I myself have two li...
Typographical Wit
HO! Tommy, bawls Type, to a brother in trade, The ministry are to be changed, it is said. That's good, replied Tom, but it better would be With a trifling erratum.--What?--Dele the c. ...
Ugly Trades
THE ugliest of trades have their moments of pleasure. Now, if I were a grave-digger, or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for ...
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A Walking Stick
Idolatry
Erudite
White Teeth
An Honor To Tipperary
Ingratitude
Welsh Wig-ging
A New Sign
Least Viewed
The Tanner; An Epigram
A Pertinent Question
Henry Erskine
Walpoliana
Very Likely
A Seasonable Joke
Measure For Measure
The Debt Paid