A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.--_Rudyard


AUNT MARY--(horrified) "Good gracious. Harold, what would your mother

say if she saw you smoking cigarets?" HAROLD (calmly)--"She'd have a

fit. They're her cigarets."

An Irish soldier on sentry duty had orders to allow no one to smoke near

his post. An officer with a lighted cigar approached whereupon Pat

boldly challenged him and ordered him to put it out at once.

The officer with a gesture of disgust threw away his cigar, but no

sooner was his back turned than Pat picked it up and quietly retired to

the sentry box.

The officer happening to look around, observed a beautiful cloud of

smoke issuing from the box. He at once challenged Pat for smoking on


"Smoking, is it, sor? Bedad, and I'm only keeping it lit to show the

corporal when he comes as evidence agin you."