COMMON SENSE
A mysterious building had been erected on the outskirts of a small town. It was shrouded in mystery. All that was known about it was that it was a chemical laboratory. An old farmer, driving past the place after work had been started, and seeing a... COMMUTERS
BRIGGS--"Is it true that you have broken off your engagement to that girl who lives in the suburbs?" GRIGGS--"Yes; they raised the commutation rates on me and I have transferred to a town girl." "I see you carrying home a new kind of breakf... COMPARISONS
A milliner endeavored to sell to a colored woman one of the last season's hats at a very moderate price. It was a big white picture-hat. "Law, no, honey!" exclaimed the woman. "I could nevah wear that. I'd look jes' like a blueberry in a pan of ... COMPENSATION
"Speakin' of de law of compensation," said Uncle Eben, "an automobile goes faster dan a mule, but at de same time it hits harder and balks longer." ... COMPETITION
A new baby arrived at a house. A little girl--now fifteen--had been the pet of the family. Every one made much of her, but when there was a new baby she felt rather neglected. "How are you, Mary?" a visitor asked of her one afternoon. "Oh, I'... COMPLIMENTS
Supper was in progress, and the father was telling about a row which took place in front of his store that morning: "The first thing I saw was one man deal the other a sounding blow, and then a crowd gathered. The man who was struck ran and grabbe... COMPOSERS
Recipe for the musical comedy composer: Librettos of all of the operas, Some shears and a bottle of paste, Curry the hits of last season, Add tumpty-tee tra la to taste. --_Life_. ... COMPROMISES
Boss--"There's $10 gone from my cash drawer, Johnny; you and I were the only people who had keys to that drawer." Office Boy--"Well, s'pose we each pay $5 and say no more about it." ... CONFESSIONS
"You say Garston made a complete confession? What did he get--five years?" "No, fifty dollars. He confessed to the magazines."--_Puck_. Little Ethel had been brought up with a firm hand and was always taught to report misdeeds promptly. One... CONGRESS
Congress is a national inquisitorial body for the purpose of acquiring valuable information and then doing nothing about it.--_Life_. "Judging from the stuff printed in the newspapers," says a congressman, "we are a pretty bad lot. Almost in t... CONGRESSMEN
It was at a banquet in Washington given to a large body of congressmen, mostly from the rural districts. The tables were elegant, and it was a scene of fairy splendor; but on one table there were no decorations but palm leaves. "Here," said a con... CONSCIENCE
The moral of this story may be that it is better to heed the warnings of the "still small voice" before it is driven to the use of the telephone. A New York lawyer, gazing idly out of his window, saw a sight in an office across the street that m... CONSEQUENCES
A teacher asked her class in spelling to state the difference between the words "results" and "consequences." A bright girl replied, "Results are what you expect, and consequences are what you get." Consequences are unpitying. Our deeds car... CONSIDERATION
The goose had been carved at the Christmas dinner and everybody had tasted it. It was excellent. The negro minister, who was the guest of honor, could not restrain his enthusiasm. "Dat's as fine a goose as I evah see, Bruddah Williams," he said ... CONSTANCY
A soldier belonging to a brigade in command of a General who believed in a celibate army asked permission to marry, as he had two good-conduct badges and money in the savings-bank. "Well, go-away," said the General, "and if you come back to me a...

AFTER DINNER SPEECHES LIARS THIN PEOPLE EMPLOYERS AND EMPLOYEES COURAGE FAITH FORGETFULNESS GUESTS

RECONCILIATIONS SPECULATION SYNONYMS DESCRIPTION MATHEMATICS SUBWAYS INQUISITIVENESS FAILURES