PROTESTANT EPISCOPAL CHURCH
One of our popular New England lecturers tells this amusing story. A street boy of diminutive stature was trying to sell some very young kittens to passers-by. One day he accosted the late Reverend Phillips Brooks, asking him to purchase, and ... PROTESTANTS
A Protestant mission meeting had been held in an Irish town and this was the gardener's contribution to the controversy that ensued: "Pratestants!" he said with lofty scorn, "'Twas mighty little St. Paul thought of the Pratestants. You've all hear... PROVIDENCE
"Why did papa have appendicitis and have to pay the doctor a thousand dollars, Mama?" "It was God's will, dear." "And was it because God was mad at papa or pleased with the doctor?"--_Life_. There's a certain minister whose duties someti... PROVINCIALISM
Some time ago an English friend of Colonel W.J. Lampton's living in New York and having never visited the South, went to Virginia to spend a month with friends. After a fortnight of it, he wrote back: "Oh, I say, old top, you never told me that ... PUBLIC SERVICE CORPORATIONS
The attorney demanded to know how many secret societies the witness belonged to, whereupon the witness objected and appealed to the court. "The court sees no harm in the question," answered the judge. "You may answer." "Well, I belong to thre... PUBLIC SPEAKERS
ORATOR--"I thought your paper was friendly to me?" EDITOR--"So it is. What's the matter?" ORATOR--"I made a speech at the dinner last night, and you didn't print a line of it." EDITOR--"Well, what further proof do you want?" TRAVELING ... PUNISHMENT
A parent who evidently disapproved of corporal punishment wrote the teacher: "Dear Miss: Don't hit our Johnnie. We never do it at home except in self-defense." "No, sirree!" ejaculated Bunkerton. "There wasn't any of that nonsense ... PUNS
A father once said to his son, "The next time you make up a pun, Go out in the yard And kick yourself hard, And I will begin when you've done." ... PURE FOOD
Into a general store of a town in Arkansas there recently came a darky complaining that a ham which he had purchased there was not good. "The ham is all right, Zeph," insisted the storekeeper. "No, it ain't, boss," insisted the negro. "Dat ham... QUARRELS
"But why did you leave your last place?" the lady asked of the would-be cook. "To tell the truth, mum, I just couldn't stand the way the master an' the missus used to quarrel, mum." "Dear me! Do you mean to say that they actually used to quar... QUESTIONS
The more questions a woman asks the fewer answers she remembers.--_Wasp_. It was a very hot day and the fat drummer who wanted the twelve-twenty train got through the gate at just twelve-twenty-one. The ensuing handicap was watched with absor... QUOTATIONS
Stanley Jordan, the well-known Episcopal minister, having cause to be anxious about his son's college examinations, told him to telegraph the result. The boy sent the following message to his parent: "Hymn 342, fifth verse, last two lines." Loo... RACE PREJUDICES
A negro preacher in a southern town was edified on one occasion by the recital of a dream had by a member of the church. "I was a-dreamin' all dis time," said the narrator, "dat I was in ole Satan's dominions. I tell you, pahson, dat was shore a... RACE PRIDE
Sam Jones, the evangelist, was leading a revival meeting in Huntsville, Texas, a number of years ago, and at the close of one of the services an old negro woman pushed her way up through the crowd to the edge of the pulpit platform. Sam took the p... RACE SUICIDE
"Prisoner, why did you assault this landlord?" "Your Honor, because I have several children he refused to rent me a flat." "Well, that is his privilege." "But, your Honor, he calls his apartment house 'The Roosevelt.'" ...

AFTER DINNER SPEECHES LIARS THIN PEOPLE EMPLOYERS AND EMPLOYEES COURAGE FAITH FORGETFULNESS GUESTS

RECONCILIATIONS SPECULATION SYNONYMS DESCRIPTION MATHEMATICS SUBWAYS INQUISITIVENESS FAILURES