The following is a resolution of an Irish corporation: That a new jail should be built that this be done out of the material of the old one and the old jail to be used until the new one be completed
The following is a resolution of an Irish corporation: "That a new jail should be built, that this be done out of the material of the old one, and the old jail to be used until the new one be completed." ... The girl who marries a title very frequently turns her fortune to a count
The girl who marries a title very frequently turns her fortune to a count. ... The glazier is not necessarily a tiresome man because he gives you a pane
The glazier is not necessarily a tiresome man because he "gives you a pane." ... The Governess--What happened when the man killed the goose that laid the golden egg Margie
The Governess--What happened when the man killed the goose that laid the golden egg, Margie? Little Margie--Why, I guess his goose was cooked. ... The hawk was dozing
The hawk was dozing. "You look," said the jay, from a safe distance, "as if you were full." "Well," the hawk admitted, "I have just been having a little lark that was a bird." ... The house a lawyer once enjoy'd
"The house a lawyer once enjoy'd, Now to a smith doth pass; How naturally the iron age Succeeds the age of brass!" ... The impecunious young man who marries a girl with a substantial check attached may very properly be said to have been checkmated
The impecunious young man who marries a girl with a substantial check attached may very properly be said to have been checkmated. ... The judge asked an Irish policeman named O'Connell When did you last see your sister
The judge asked an Irish policeman named O'Connell, "When did you last see your sister?" The policeman replied: "The last time I saw her, Judge, was about eight months ago, when she called at my home, and I was out." "Then you did not see her on t... The kerosene can on the mantel reposes Its contents were sprinkled all over the fire And all that poor Kathleen O'Donohue knows is This dull world has changed for a sphere that is higher
The kerosene can on the mantel reposes, Its contents were sprinkled all over the fire, And all that poor Kathleen O'Donohue knows is, This dull world has changed for a sphere that is higher. ... The landlord came to Mrs
The landlord came to Mrs. O'Hooligan on the first day of May last, and said: "See here, my foine loidy, I am going to raise your rent." "Oh thanks be to the Lord," said Mrs. O'Hooligan, "I'm so glad that you intend to raise it for me as Dan aint' ... The man who was run over by the cars the other day is now out of danger
"The man who was run over by the cars the other day, is now out of danger." "That's good." "He died this morning." ... THE MAN--Edison's a wonder isn't he
THE MAN--Edison's a wonder, isn't he? THE MAID--I don't think so! You can't turn his incandescent lights down low. ... The modern drummer is not much like the month of March
The modern drummer is not much like the month of March. March is said to come in a lion and go out a lamb, while the drummer comes in a lyin' and goes out a lyin'. ... The old lady who sent as presents to a newly-married couple a rolling-pin a pain of flat-irons and a motto inscribed Fight On must have a grudge against them
The old lady who sent as presents to a newly-married couple a rolling-pin, a pain of flat-irons and a motto inscribed "Fight On," must have a grudge against them. ... THE ONLY REMEDY--Mamma I dess you'll have to turn the hose on me
THE ONLY REMEDY--"Mamma, I dess you'll have to turn the hose on me." "Why, dear?" "'Tause I'se dot my 'tocking on wrong side out." ...

Whether tall men or short men are best Or bold men or modest and shy men I can't say but this I protest All the fair are in favor of Hy-men Charlemagne was in need of amusement Couples making love will beware of the rubber plant Ma what is a Panama man called Ah Adversity is not without comfort--your enemy may be in harder luck than you Yes there is one part of the dough-nut that wouldn't give you dyspepsia MRS

What's the matter here MRS How by the statesman insincere Man's weary soul is vexed When we first dined at a cafe We feared they'd drop their trays but later We learned somewhat to our dismay It takes--as scores of men will say-- A big tip to upset a waiter Rowley Powley pudding and pie Kissed the girls and made them cry To-morrow never comes they say; But all such talk is idle gush For when we have a debt to pay To-morrow gets there with a rush 'Tis now the wily urchin mocks The lynx-eyed cop along the docks And plunges in the cooling tide Arrayed in naught else but his hide An emblem of tenuity We witness every day; Behold the corset-and you'll see The whale-bone comes to STAY