'Tis now the wily urchin mocks The lynx-eyed cop along the docks And plunges in the cooling tide Arrayed in naught else but his hide
'Tis now the wily urchin mocks The lynx-eyed cop along the docks, And plunges in the cooling tide, Arrayed in naught else but his hide. ... --I met a deaf and dumb man to-day who had every joint of his fingers broken
--I met a deaf and dumb man to-day who had every joint of his fingers broken. --That is terrible, how did it happen? --Well, he used to crack jokes on his fingers. ... --I want to be an angel
--"I want to be an angel." --"Just wait till you've backed one or two 'stars,' and you'll change that tune my boy." ... --I'm very sorry for that boy
--"I'm very sorry for that boy. Your scolding cut him to the quick." --"That's impossible. He has no quick. He's a messenger boy." ... --No matter how high an awning may be suspended it is only a shade above the street
--No matter how high an awning may be suspended, it is only a shade above the street. ... --So Ethel is to marry that young Bob Halstey; why he has been jilted by half a dozen girls
--So Ethel is to marry that young Bob Halstey; why, he has been jilted by half a dozen girls. --Case of being well shaken before taken, I suppose. ... --That Jersey murderer was clever to get off as he did wasn't he
--"That Jersey murderer was clever to get off as he did, wasn't he?" --"What was his plea--insanity?" --"No, malaria." ... --When Mrs
--"When Mrs. Riley died she left $40,000 sewed up in her bustle." --"Dear me! That's a lot of money to leave behind." ... A bashful young couple who were evidently very much in love entered a crowded street car in Boston the other day
A bashful young couple, who were evidently very much in love, entered a crowded street car in Boston the other day. "Do you suppose we can squeeze in here?" he asked, looking doubtfully at her blushing face. "Don't you think, dear, we had bette... A beautiful lassie named Florence Once wept till her tears flowed in torence
A beautiful lassie named Florence, Once wept till her tears flowed in torence. When asked why she cried, She sighed, and replied, "The Sheriff's been here with some worence." ... A boil in the pot is worth two on the neck
A boil in the pot is worth two on the neck. ... A Boston man upon learning that there were 4000 Poles in New York exclaimed: What a place to raise beans
A Boston, man upon learning that there were 4,000 Poles in New York, exclaimed: "What a place to raise beans." ... A boy who is frequently chastised both by his mother and grandmother speaks of them as a spanking team
A boy who is frequently chastised both by his mother and grandmother, speaks of them as "a spanking team." ... A butcher knows how to make both ends meet
"A butcher knows how to make both ends meet." "Yes, if you give him the proper steer." ... A cement maker advertises that his cement is strong enough to mend the break of day
A cement maker advertises that his cement is strong enough to mend the break of day. ...

Whether tall men or short men are best Or bold men or modest and shy men I can't say but this I protest All the fair are in favor of Hy-men Charlemagne was in need of amusement Couples making love will beware of the rubber plant Ma what is a Panama man called Ah Adversity is not without comfort--your enemy may be in harder luck than you Yes there is one part of the dough-nut that wouldn't give you dyspepsia MRS

What's the matter here MRS How by the statesman insincere Man's weary soul is vexed When we first dined at a cafe We feared they'd drop their trays but later We learned somewhat to our dismay It takes--as scores of men will say-- A big tip to upset a waiter Rowley Powley pudding and pie Kissed the girls and made them cry To-morrow never comes they say; But all such talk is idle gush For when we have a debt to pay To-morrow gets there with a rush 'Tis now the wily urchin mocks The lynx-eyed cop along the docks And plunges in the cooling tide Arrayed in naught else but his hide An emblem of tenuity We witness every day; Behold the corset-and you'll see The whale-bone comes to STAY