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FATHER--"Well, sonny, did you take your dog to the 'vet' next door to
your house, as I suggested?"

BOY--"Yes, sir."

FATHER-"And what did he say?"

BOY--"'E said Towser was suffering from nerves, so Sis had better give
up playin' the pianner."


The "celebrated pianiste," Miss Sharpe, had concluded her recital. As
the resultant applause was terminating, Mrs. Rochester observed Colonel
Grayson wiping his eyes. The old gentleman noticed her look, and,
thinking it one of inquiry, began to explain the cause of his sadness.
"The girl's playing," he told the lady, "reminded me so much of the
playing of her father. He used to be a chum of mine in the Army of the
Potomac."

"Oh, indeed!" cooed Mrs. Rochester, with a conventional show of
interest. "I never knew her father was a piano-player."

"He wasn't," replied the Colonel. "He was a drummer."--_G.T. Evans_.


Recipe for an orchestra leader:

Four hundred and twenty-two movements--
Emanuel, Swedish and Swiss--
It's a wonder the hand can keep playing,
You'd think they'd die laughing at this!

--_Life_.


'Tis God gives skill,
But not without men's hands: He could not make
Antonio Stradivari's violins
Without Antonio.

--_George Eliot_.





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