The Gloomy Guest
Cause And Effect
What He Preferred
Played Them Both Up
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After a trip abroad, a lady inquired of her colored washerwoman:
"Lucy, do you and your husband quarrel now the same as you used to?"
"No, indeed, ma'am," was the reply.
"That is good. I'm sure you're very glad of it, aren't you?"
"Ah sho'ly is."
"What caused you to stop quarreling, Lucy?" the lady asked.
The explanation was simple and sufficient:
* * *
The newly married pair quarreled seriously, so that the wife in a
passion finally declared:
"I'm going home to my mother!"
The husband maintained his calm in the face of this calamity, and drew
out his pocketbook.
"Here," he said, counting out some bills, "is the money for your
The wife took it, and counted it in her turn. Then she faced her husband
"But that isn't enough for a return ticket."
* * *
The good wife, after she and her husband had retired for the night,
discoursed for a long time with much eloquence. When she was interrupted
by a snore from her spouse, she thumped the sleeper into wakefulness,
and then remarked:
"John, do you know what I think of a man who will go to sleep while his
own wife is a-talkin' to him?"
"Well, now, I believe as how I do, Martha," was the drowsily uttered
response. "But don't let that stop you. Go right ahead, an' git it off