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A Kansan sat on the beach at Atlantic City watching a fair and very fat
bather disporting herself in the surf. He knew nothing of tides, and he
did not notice that each succeeding wave came a little closer to his
feet. At last an extra big wave washed over his shoe tops.
"Hey, there!" he yelled at the fair, fat bather. "Quit yer jumpin' up
and down! D'ye want to drown me?"
At a recent Confederate reunion in Charleston, S.C., two Kentuckians
were viewing the Atlantic Ocean for the first time.
"Say, cap'n," said one of them, "what ought I to carry home to the
children for a souvenir?"
"Why, colonel, it strikes me that some of this here ocean water would be
"Just the thing!" exclaimed the colonel delightedly. From a rear pocket
he produced a flask, and, with the aid of the captain, soon emptied it.
Then, picking his way down to the water's edge, he filled it to the neck
and replaced the cork.
"Hi, there! Don't do that!" cried the captain in great alarm. "Pour out
about a third of that water. If you don't, when the tide rises she'll
Nae man can tether time or tide.--_Burns_.
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