Railroad
A railroad was opened through a remote region, and on the first run over the line, the engineer overtook a country boy riding his horse along the road bed. The engineer whistled, and the boy whipped. The train was forced to a crawl with the cowcatch... Ready And Willing
_Magistrate:_ "Can't this case be settled out of court?" _Mulligan:_ "Sure, sure; that's what we were trying to do, your honor, when the police interfered." * * * An old darky visited a doctor and recei... Ready To Join
_Minister:_ Would you care to join us in the new missionary movement? _Miss Ala Mode:_ I'm crazy to try it. Is it anything like the fox trot? * * * ... Realised
_Lawyer:_ "When I was a boy my highest ambition was to be a pirate." _Client:_ "You're in luck. It isn't every man who can realise the dreams of his youth." * * * ... Reality
A man, who is the father of a year-old youngster, met his pastor on Sunday afternoon. "Why weren't you at church this morning?" was the first question of the spiritual adviser. "I couldn't come," was the answer. "I had to stop at home and mind ... Reassuring
_She:_ "Oh! Jack! Are you perfectly certain that you love me?" _He:_ "My darling! You don't suppose that I have lived for thirty years without knowing love when I feel it." * * * ... Recognition
The office telephone was out of order. An employee of the company was sent to make repairs. After a period of labor, he suggested to the gentleman occupying the office the calling up of some one over the wire in order to test the working of the inst... Redeeming Trait
"I know I'm old, but I'm crazy about you," stated Mr. Moneybags. "When I go I'll leave all my fortune to you if you'll have me." "Have you any bad habits?" asked Miss Goldielocks, thoughtfully. "Only that I walk in my sleep, if you could call th... Reform
Abe Jones was a colored man who made a living by chicken-stealing. He was converted at a camp meeting. When the elder was receiving testimonies from the mourners' bench, he at last called on Abe: "Brother," he exhorted, "won't you tell the congreg... Reliability
The Southern lady saw old 'Rastus setting out with his fishing tackle for a day on the river, and she deemed it a fitting time to rebuke him for his notorious idleness, since she and everybody else knew that the entire family was supported by the in... Remembered
Blinks, after inviting his friend, Jinks, who has just returned from abroad, to dinner, is telling him what a fine memory his little son Bobby has. "And do you suppose he will remember me?" said Jinks. "Remember you? Why, he remembers every fac... Repentance
"When the Devil was sick, the Devil a monk would be: When the Devil was well, the devil a monk was he." ... Repetition
The little girl had been naughty in school. By way of punishment, she was directed by the teacher to remain in her seat after the session until she had written an original composition containing not less than fifty words. In a surprisingly short spa... Resignation
The physician, afer an examination, addressed the wife of the sick man in a tone of grave finality: "I am afraid your husband is beyond help. I can hold out no hope of his recovery." This candor was offensive to the patient, who protested with ... Retroactive
"You know you should love your neighbor as yourself." "But the trouble is, when I try to do that, I always end by hating myself." * * * _Pupil:_ "What I want to know is, am I a bass or a baritone?" _...

Humility The Gloomy Guest Optimism Repentance Hospitality Recognition Baptism Physiology

Sarcasm Discretion Sympathy Economy Cause And Effect He Knew What He Preferred Appearances