We should never complain whatever may befall us said the minister
"We should never complain, whatever may befall us," said the minister. "The moment we grow dissatisfied we become unhappy." "Do you really think so?" she sighed. "Yes," returned the good man; "the first woman who complained of her Lot, was tu... We're all often forced to rob Peter In order to settle with Paul But some of us merely rob Peter And Paul never sees us at all
We're all often forced to rob Peter In order to settle with Paul, But some of us merely rob Peter And Paul never sees us at all. ... WEEKS--Well how are things over in Boston
WEEKS--Well, how are things over in Boston? Have they named any new pie "Aristotle" yet? WENTMAN--No-o. But I heard a man there ask for a Plato soup. ... Well have you anything to say
"Well, have you anything to say?" asked the Judge. The little man on the witness stand looked around the court-room rather fearfully. "That depends," he answered at last "Is my wife in the room?" ... Well I see Admiral Dewey's rank is reduced
"Well, I see Admiral Dewey's rank is reduced." "What is he, a commodore?" "No." "A captain?" "No." "Well, what is he?" "Mrs. Dewey's second mate." ... Well, Pat, and how is that bull-pup of yours doing
"Well, Pat, and how is that bull-pup of yours doing?" "Oh, he's dead! The illigant baste wint an' swallowed a tape-measure!" "Oh, I see! He died by inches, then?" "No; begorra, he didn't! He wint round to the back of the ho... Were you attached to the place
"Were you attached to the place?" The actress laughed bitterly. "I don't know what you'd call it," she rejoined. "The sheriff had all my dresses except a Mother Hubbard." ... What a distinguished looking man
"What a distinguished looking man." "Yes, the last time I saw him he was on the bench." "What, a judge?" "No; a substitute ball-player." ... What a fearful night I had when I drew this gun the first time
"What a fearful night I had when I drew this gun the first time!" said the bartender, as he showed a handsome silver-mounted Colt. "When was it?" gasped the crowd. "Night before last at the raffle in Kelley's!" ... What are you going to do with your boy
"What are you going to do with your boy?" "I don't know; I'm afraid he is a bad egg." "In that case he might do for an actor." ... What are you writing such a big hand for Pat
"What are you writing such a big hand for, Pat?" "Why, you see my grandmother is dafe, and I'm writing a loud letter to her." ... What became of that girl you made love to in the hammock
"What became of that girl you made love to in the hammock?" "We fell out." ... What did de lady do when yer asked her for an old collar
"What did de lady do when yer asked her for an old collar?" "She gave me a turndown." ... What did you wear last night
"What did you wear last night?" asked the celery. "A lovely mayonnaise," replied the lettuce. "And you?" "Never was so mortified in all my life; I wasn't dressed at all," said the celery; and the beet blushed. ... What do you mean by referring to Miss Elderly as a pall-bearer
"What do you mean by referring to Miss Elderly as a pall-bearer?" "She sits around all day long with a green parrot on her shoulder. I don't like such Poll-bearers." ...

Whether tall men or short men are best Or bold men or modest and shy men I can't say but this I protest All the fair are in favor of Hy-men Charlemagne was in need of amusement Couples making love will beware of the rubber plant Ma what is a Panama man called Ah Adversity is not without comfort--your enemy may be in harder luck than you Yes there is one part of the dough-nut that wouldn't give you dyspepsia MRS

What's the matter here MRS How by the statesman insincere Man's weary soul is vexed When we first dined at a cafe We feared they'd drop their trays but later We learned somewhat to our dismay It takes--as scores of men will say-- A big tip to upset a waiter Rowley Powley pudding and pie Kissed the girls and made them cry To-morrow never comes they say; But all such talk is idle gush For when we have a debt to pay To-morrow gets there with a rush 'Tis now the wily urchin mocks The lynx-eyed cop along the docks And plunges in the cooling tide Arrayed in naught else but his hide An emblem of tenuity We witness every day; Behold the corset-and you'll see The whale-bone comes to STAY