Did you hear about Miss Jones
"Did you hear about Miss Jones?" "No. What's up?" "Why, she eloped with one of the boarders in the hotel." "Oh, that was only a roomer!" ... Did you hear the story about the peacock
"Did you hear the story about the peacock?" "No." "It's a beautiful tale." ... Did you know that Xanthippe wife of one of the greatest of ancient philosophers was a great scold
"Did you know that Xanthippe, wife of one of the greatest of ancient philosophers, was a great scold?" "Certainly; but just think what a great tease her husband was." "A great tease?" "Yes; Socrates." ... Did you shoot anything Henrick
"Did you shoot anything, Henrick?" "Yes, a duck." "What! a wild one?" "No, but the farmer was wild." ... Did your sweetheart receive you warmly last night
"Did your sweetheart receive you warmly last night?" asked one Pittsburg young man of another. "No, but her father did." "How was that?" "He fired me." ... DINER--Hello
DINER--"Hello! waiter, where is that ox-tail soup?" WAITER--"Coming, sir--half a minute." DINER--"Confound you! How slow you are." WAITER--"Fault of the soup, sir. Ox-tail is always behind." ... Do I bore you
"Do I bore you?" asked the mosquito, politely, as he sunk a half-inch shaft into the man's leg. "Not at all," replied the man, squashing him with a book. "How do I strike you?" ... Do you believe in luck
"Do you believe in luck?" "Sometimes. See that fat woman with the red hat over there?" "Yes." "Twenty years ago she refused to marry me." ... Do you believe in transmigration of souls
"Do you believe in transmigration of souls?" "Well," answered the man who never admits that he doesn't know everything, "I wouldn't recommend it as a regular practice." ... Do you go to church to hear the sermon or the music Maude
"Do you go to church to hear the sermon or the music, Maude?" "I go for the hims," said Maud. ... Do you know George Papa thinks you are a literary man
"Do you know, George, Papa thinks you are a literary man." "Where did he get that idea?" "I don't know, but he said you looked just like a bookmaker." ... Do you know the nature of an oath ma'am
"Do you know the nature of an oath, ma'am?" inquired the judge. "Well, I reckon I orter," was the reply. "My husband drives a canal boat." ... Do you think that as a rule people who attend theaters are superstitious
"Do you think that as a rule people who attend theaters are superstitious?" "Do I think so? I know it. I have seen people sit for an hour waiting for a ghost to walk." "For that matter the actors themselves often wait longer than that." ... Do you think the elevator boy stole your watch
"Do you think the elevator boy stole your watch?" "Well, he swore up and down that he didn't." ... Do you think the things one eats have a direct effect on one's disposition
"Do you think the things one eats have a direct effect on one's disposition?" "Well, rather. We had Indian meal pudding so often at our house that everybody got savage." ...

Whether tall men or short men are best Or bold men or modest and shy men I can't say but this I protest All the fair are in favor of Hy-men Charlemagne was in need of amusement Couples making love will beware of the rubber plant Ma what is a Panama man called Ah Adversity is not without comfort--your enemy may be in harder luck than you Yes there is one part of the dough-nut that wouldn't give you dyspepsia MRS

What's the matter here MRS How by the statesman insincere Man's weary soul is vexed When we first dined at a cafe We feared they'd drop their trays but later We learned somewhat to our dismay It takes--as scores of men will say-- A big tip to upset a waiter Rowley Powley pudding and pie Kissed the girls and made them cry To-morrow never comes they say; But all such talk is idle gush For when we have a debt to pay To-morrow gets there with a rush 'Tis now the wily urchin mocks The lynx-eyed cop along the docks And plunges in the cooling tide Arrayed in naught else but his hide An emblem of tenuity We witness every day; Behold the corset-and you'll see The whale-bone comes to STAY