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Kisses
Joke Topics Home
Here's to a kiss:
Give me a kiss, and to that kiss add a score,
Then to that twenty add a hundred more;
A thousand to that hundred, and so kiss on,
To make that thousand quite a million,
Treble that million, and when that is done
Let's kiss afresh as though we'd just begun.
"If I should kiss you I suppose you'd go and tell your mother."
"No; my lawyer."
"What is he so angry with you for?"
"I haven't the slightest idea. We met in the street, and we were talking
just as friendly as could be, when all of a sudden he flared up and
tried to kick me."
"And what were you talking about?"
"Oh, just ordinary small talk. I remember he said, 'I always kiss my
wife three or four times every day.'"
"And what did you say?"
"I said, 'I know at least a dozen men who do the same,' and then he had
a fit."
There was an old maiden from Fife,
Who had never been kissed in her life;
Along came a cat;
And she said, "I'll kiss that!"
But the cat answered, "Not on your life!"
Here's to the red of the holly berry,
And to its leaf so green;
And here's to the lips that are just as red,
And the fellow who's not so green.
There was a young sailor of Lyd,
Who loved a fair Japanese kid;
When it came to good-bye,
They were eager but shy,
So they put up a sunshade and--did.
There once was a maiden of Siam,
Who said to her lover, young Kiam,
"If you kiss me, of course
You will have to use force,
But God knows you're stronger than I am."
Lord! I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing.--_Swift_.
_See also_ Courtship; Servants.
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Previous: KINGS AND RULERS
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