TIPS

American travelers in Europe experience a great deal of trouble from the

omnipresent need of tipping those from whom they expect any service,

however slight. They are very apt to carry it much too far, or else

attempt to resist it altogether. There is a story told of a wealthy and

ostentatious American in a Parisian restaurant. As the waiter placed

the order before him he said in a loud voice:



"Waiter, wh t is largest tip you ever received?"



"One thousand francs, monsieur."



"_Eh bien_! But I will give you two thousand," answered the upholder of

American honor; and then in a moment he added: "May I ask who gave you

the thousand francs?"



"It was yourself, monsieur," said the obsequious waiter.



Of quite an opposite mode of thought was another American visiting

London for the first time. Goaded to desperation by the incessant

necessity for tips, he finally entered the washroom of his hotel, only

to be faced with a large sign which read: "Please tip the basin after

using." "I'm hanged if I will!" said the Yankee, turning on his heel,

"I'll go dirty first!"





Grant Alien relates that he was sitting one day under the shade of the

Sphinx, turning for some petty point of detail to his Baedeker.



A sheik looked at him sadly, and shook his head. "Murray good," he said

in a solemn voice of warning; "Baedeker no good. What for you see

Baedeker?"



"No, no; Baedeker is best," answered Mr. Alien. "Why do you object to

Baedeker?"



The shick crossed his hands, and looked down at him with the pitying

eyes of Islam. "Baedeker bad book," he repeated; "Murray very, very

good. Murray say, 'Give the sheik half a crown'; Baedeker say, 'Give the

sheik a shilling.'"





"What do you consider the most important event in the history of Paris?"



"Well," replied the tourist, who had grown weary of distributing tips,

"so far as financial prosperity is concerned, I should say the discovery

of America was the making of this town."





In telling this one, Miss Glaser always states that she does not want it

understood that she considers the Scotch people at all stingy; but they

are a very careful and thrifty race.



An intimate friend of her's was very anxious to have a well known

Scotchman meet Miss Glaser, and gave her a letter of introduction to

him. Miss Glaser, wishing to show him all the attention possible,

invited him to a dinner which she was giving in London and after rather

an elaborate repast the bill was paid, the waiter returning five

shillings. She let it lie, intending, of course, to give it to the

waiter. The Scotchman glanced at the money very frequently, and finally

he said, his natural thrift getting the best of him:



"Are you going to give all that to the waiter?"



In a inimitable way, Miss Glaser quietly replied:



"No, take some."





"A tip is a small sum of money you give to somebody because you're

afraid he won't like not being paid for something you haven't asked him

to do."--_The Bailie, Glasgow_.