HE--Don't you think Miss Plainly is the very image of her mother
HE--Don't you think Miss Plainly is the very image of her mother? SHE--Yes, indeed; the resemblance is something awful. ... HE--How does it happen that none of you women have come forward with a new currency plan
HE--How does it happen that none of you women have come forward with a new currency plan? SHE--Oh, we already have a perfect one. When we need currency we just sit down and cry for it. ... HE--I saw you out driving yesterday with a gentleman
HE--"I saw you out driving yesterday with a gentleman. He appeared to have only one arm; is that all he has?" SHE--"Oh, no; the other arm was around somewhere." ... HE--I'll go to-morrow and buy a diamond engagement ring
HE--I'll go to-morrow and buy a diamond engagement ring. SHE--Now, George, for the first time your talk has the true ring in it. ... HE--The bride looks radiant as brides usually do
HE--The bride looks radiant, as brides usually do. SHE--Yes, but the bridegroom appears rather run down. HE--Run down eh? That's just it; caught after a long chase. ... HE--The fact is you women make fools of the men
HE--"The fact is, you women make fools of the men." SHE--"Sometimes, perhaps; but sometimes we don't have to." ... HE--Then I am to understand that you have given me the mitten as it were
HE--Then I am to understand that you have given me the mitten, as it were? SHE--You have said it. HE--And is this all? SHE--Of course it is. What more do you want--a pair of socks? ... HE--Time and tide wait for no man
HE--Time and tide wait for no man. SHE--No, but a woman will. ... He--Why has he put her picture in his watch
He--Why has he put her picture in his watch? She--Because he thinks she will love him in time. ... HE--Yes she is living under an assumed name
HE--"Yes, she is living under an assumed name." SHE--"Horrible! What is it?" HE--"The one she assumed immediately after her husband married her!" ... HE--You saw some old ruins while in England I presume
HE--You saw some old ruins while in England, I presume? SHE--Yes, indeed! And one of them wanted to marry me. ... HE: Do you know dear you remind me of Huyler's candy
HE: Do you know, dear, you remind me of Huyler's candy. SHE: Why? Because I am "so sweet?" HE: No! "Fresh every hour." ... Held by the enemy--the ulster which we are unable to redeem
"Held by the enemy"--the ulster which we are unable to redeem. ... Her face was happy His face was stern; Her hand was in his'n His'n was in her'n
Her face was happy, His face was stern; Her hand was in his'n, His'n was in her'n. ... Here is a chestnut your ire arouses So often it's brought to your minds People who live in glass houses Should always pull down the blinds
Here is a chestnut your ire arouses, So often it's brought to your minds, "People who live in glass houses" Should always "pull down the blinds." ...

Whether tall men or short men are best Or bold men or modest and shy men I can't say but this I protest All the fair are in favor of Hy-men Charlemagne was in need of amusement Couples making love will beware of the rubber plant Ma what is a Panama man called Ah Adversity is not without comfort--your enemy may be in harder luck than you Yes there is one part of the dough-nut that wouldn't give you dyspepsia MRS

What's the matter here MRS How by the statesman insincere Man's weary soul is vexed When we first dined at a cafe We feared they'd drop their trays but later We learned somewhat to our dismay It takes--as scores of men will say-- A big tip to upset a waiter Rowley Powley pudding and pie Kissed the girls and made them cry To-morrow never comes they say; But all such talk is idle gush For when we have a debt to pay To-morrow gets there with a rush 'Tis now the wily urchin mocks The lynx-eyed cop along the docks And plunges in the cooling tide Arrayed in naught else but his hide An emblem of tenuity We witness every day; Behold the corset-and you'll see The whale-bone comes to STAY