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"They tell me you're working 'ard night an' day, Sarah?" her bosom
friend Ann said.

"Yes," returned Sarah. "I'm under bonds to keep the peace for pullin'
the whiskers out of that old scoundrel of a husban' of mine, and the
Magistrate said that if I come afore 'im ag'in, or laid me 'ands on the
old man, he'd fine me forty shillin's!"

"And so you're working 'ard to keep out of mischief?"

"Not much; I'm workin' 'ard to save up the fine!"


"Mike, I wish I knew where I was goin' to die. I'd give a thousand
dollars to know the place where I'm goin' to die."

"Well, Pat, what good would it do if yez knew?"

"Lots," said Pat. "Shure I'd never go near that place."


There once was a pious young priest,
Who lived almost wholly on yeast;
"For," he said, "it is plain
We must all rise again,
And I want to get started, at least."





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Previous: FORECASTING



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