Who was the first one that came from the ark when it landed
"Who was the first one that came from the ark when it landed." "Noah." "You are wrong. Don't the good book tell us that Noah came forth? So there must have been three ahead of him." ... Why are pugilists like chickens
"Why are pugilists like chickens?" "Because they live on 'scraps!'" ... Why are you sad Bill
"Why are you sad, Bill?" "Oh, I am troubled with dyspepsia." "How can that be?" "I got licked at school 'cause I couldn't spell it." ... Why did you insist on only $99000 a year as your salary
"Why did you insist on only $99,000 a year as your salary?" "Because," answered the high financier, "as soon as people hear a hundred thousand mentioned they get suspicious. It is better to keep the figure marked down a little." ... Why do all bank cashiers run to Canada
"Why do all bank cashiers run to Canada?" "Give it up." "Because that's the only place Toronto." ... Why do they make those Oriental pipes with bowls as big as water pitchers
"Why do they make those Oriental pipes with bowls as big as water pitchers?" asked the inquisitive girl. "Those," answered the wise woman, "are for men who have promised that they will confine their smoking to one pipe after each meal." ... Why do you call him 'Mr
"Why do you call him 'Mr. Gimlet?' That isn't his name." "I know. But he's such a bore!" ... Why do you call that colored man a blackmailer
"Why do you call that colored man a blackmailer." "Because he is employed at the post-office. And that ain't the worst of it." "No?" "No, sir; his wife takes hush money." "You don't say so!" "I do. She's a child nurse." ... Why do you call your dog hardware
"Why do you call your dog hardware?" "Because when I go to whip him he makes a bolt for the door." ... Why does a donkey eat thistles
"Why does a donkey eat thistles?" asked a Texas teacher of one of the largest boys in the class. "Because he is an ass, I reckon." ... Why don't you demand $50000 instead of $5000
"Why don't you demand $50,000 instead of $5,000?" said the lawyer. "Oh, because," explained the lady of the breach of promise suit. "Then he might change his mind and want to marry me." ... Why is a kiss like the three graces
"Why is a kiss like the three graces?" "Its faith to a girl; hope to a young woman and charity to an old maid." ... Why is a railroad train like a bedbug
Why is a railroad train like a bedbug? It runs over the sleepers. ... Why is Miss B---- wearing black
"Why is Miss B---- wearing black?" "She is in mourning for her husband." "Why, she never had a husband!" "No, that is why she mourns." ... Why should a young man never raise his straw hat to a lady
"Why should a young man never raise his straw hat to a lady?" "Because it is never felt." ...

Whether tall men or short men are best Or bold men or modest and shy men I can't say but this I protest All the fair are in favor of Hy-men Charlemagne was in need of amusement Couples making love will beware of the rubber plant Ma what is a Panama man called Ah Adversity is not without comfort--your enemy may be in harder luck than you Yes there is one part of the dough-nut that wouldn't give you dyspepsia MRS

What's the matter here MRS How by the statesman insincere Man's weary soul is vexed When we first dined at a cafe We feared they'd drop their trays but later We learned somewhat to our dismay It takes--as scores of men will say-- A big tip to upset a waiter Rowley Powley pudding and pie Kissed the girls and made them cry To-morrow never comes they say; But all such talk is idle gush For when we have a debt to pay To-morrow gets there with a rush 'Tis now the wily urchin mocks The lynx-eyed cop along the docks And plunges in the cooling tide Arrayed in naught else but his hide An emblem of tenuity We witness every day; Behold the corset-and you'll see The whale-bone comes to STAY