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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Ah
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
Electricity Is A Great Educator
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




I suppose Barnum went to heaven when he died

Puns Home









"I suppose Barnum went to heaven when he died?"



"Well, he certainly had a good chance. In fact he had the

greatest show on earth."











Next: Why do all bank cashiers run to Canada

Previous: TRAMP--Can't you give a poor man something to eat



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Viewed 2009



Puns

Me Eyes Is Crossed Sighed Kate
When Was Money First Invented
He Dined Not Wisely But Too Well-- Hence All His Ills; And Nothing Now Agrees With Him Excepting Pills
You Own Your Own House Don't You
What Is The Secret Of Success
Men Are Deceivers As A Rule
An Irishman In Order To Celebrate The Advent Of A New Era Went Out On A Lark
Did Any Of You Ever See An Elephant's Skin
First Fly--did It Ever Occur To You The Baldheaded Men Have A Keener Sense Of Humor Than Others
Kicksy--wife Can You Tell Me Why I Am Like A Hen
At A West End Hotel One Of The Party Asked: Have You Got Any Celery Waiter
Mrs
Sing Not To Me Of Falling Dew Upon The Purple Hills For I Am Worried Far Too Much By Falling Due Of Bills
Customer (to The Coal Dealer): Have You Got Any Name For Those Scales Of Yours
You Were Thrown Out
A Young Lady In Philadelphia Is Said To Have Had Five Lovers All Named Samuel
He--the Fact Is You Women Make Fools Of The Men
Now Why Remarked The Little Dog In Speaking To The Tree Would You Say That The Heart Of You Is Like The Tail Of Me
Bacon--what's That Thread Tied About Your Little Finger For
I Hear Smith The Sea Captain Is In Hard Luck
Some Fellows Marry Poor Girls To Settle Down And Others Marry Rich Ones To Settle Up
The Kerosene Can On The Mantel Reposes Its Contents Were Sprinkled All Over The Fire And All That Poor Kathleen O'donohue Knows Is This Dull World Has Changed For A Sphere That Is Higher
How To Signal A Bark--pull A Dog's Tail
Now Comes The Question Which Will Make This Life A Bitter Cup
Things Are Wrong Remarked The Observer Of Events And Things When A Reputable Physician Has To Pay Money For A Certificate To Practice And A Fourteen-year-old Girl With A New Piano Doesn't