HE: Do you know dear you remind me of Huyler's candy
HE: Do you know, dear, you remind me of Huyler's candy.
SHE: Why? Because I am "so sweet?"
HE: No! "Fresh every hour."
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HE--Didn't you promise to love honor and obey me
HE--"Didn't you promise to love, honor and obey me?" SHE--"Heaven only knows what I promised. I was listening to hear what you promised." ... HE--Don't you think Miss Plainly is the very image of her mother
HE--Don't you think Miss Plainly is the very image of her mother? SHE--Yes, indeed; the resemblance is something awful. ... HE--How does it happen that none of you women have come forward with a new currency plan
HE--How does it happen that none of you women have come forward with a new currency plan? SHE--Oh, we already have a perfect one. When we need currency we just sit down and cry for it. ... HE--I saw you out driving yesterday with a gentleman
HE--"I saw you out driving yesterday with a gentleman. He appeared to have only one arm; is that all he has?" SHE--"Oh, no; the other arm was around somewhere." ... HE--I'll go to-morrow and buy a diamond engagement ring
HE--I'll go to-morrow and buy a diamond engagement ring. SHE--Now, George, for the first time your talk has the true ring in it. ... HE--The bride looks radiant as brides usually do
HE--The bride looks radiant, as brides usually do. SHE--Yes, but the bridegroom appears rather run down. HE--Run down eh? That's just it; caught after a long chase. ... HE--The fact is you women make fools of the men
HE--"The fact is, you women make fools of the men." SHE--"Sometimes, perhaps; but sometimes we don't have to." ... HE--Then I am to understand that you have given me the mitten as it were
HE--Then I am to understand that you have given me the mitten, as it were? SHE--You have said it. HE--And is this all? SHE--Of course it is. What more do you want--a pair of socks? ... HE--Time and tide wait for no man
HE--Time and tide wait for no man. SHE--No, but a woman will. ... He--Why has he put her picture in his watch
He--Why has he put her picture in his watch? She--Because he thinks she will love him in time. ... HE--Yes she is living under an assumed name
HE--"Yes, she is living under an assumed name." SHE--"Horrible! What is it?" HE--"The one she assumed immediately after her husband married her!" ... HE--You saw some old ruins while in England I presume
HE--You saw some old ruins while in England, I presume? SHE--Yes, indeed! And one of them wanted to marry me. ... HE: Do you know dear you remind me of Huyler's candy
HE: Do you know, dear, you remind me of Huyler's candy. SHE: Why? Because I am "so sweet?" HE: No! "Fresh every hour." ... Held by the enemy--the ulster which we are unable to redeem
"Held by the enemy"--the ulster which we are unable to redeem. ... Her face was happy His face was stern; Her hand was in his'n His'n was in her'n
Her face was happy, His face was stern; Her hand was in his'n, His'n was in her'n. ... Here is a chestnut your ire arouses So often it's brought to your minds People who live in glass houses Should always pull down the blinds
Here is a chestnut your ire arouses, So often it's brought to your minds, "People who live in glass houses" Should always "pull down the blinds." ... Here lies poor Sam: and what is strange Grim death has worked in him a change---- He always lied and always will He once lied loud and now lies still
"Here lies poor Sam: and what is strange, Grim death has worked in him a change---- He always lied and always will, He once lied loud and now lies still." ... Here's an account of a hen which layed three eggs at once and then died remarked Mrs
"Here's an account of a hen which layed three eggs at once, and then died," remarked Mrs. Sumway. "From over-eggsertion, probably," commented her husband. ... Hey boy where's your brother
"Hey, boy, where's your brother?" "In the barn, shoein' horses." "Where's your mother?" "In the back yard, shooin' chickens." "Where's your father?" "In the hammock, shooin' flies." ... How about the lazy man who hurt his eye looking for work
"How about the lazy man who hurt his eye looking for work?" "That's nothing. How about the industrious safe breaker doing time for making money?" ... How are you to-day
"How are you to-day?" "Oh, I can't kick." "Thought you were ill." "I am--I have the gout." ... How by the statesman insincere Man's weary soul is vexed
How by the statesman insincere Man's weary soul is vexed. He'll shake your hand one minute and He'll pull your leg the next! ... How could you endure talking so long with that ugly old woman with that frightful costume without laughing in her face
"How could you endure talking so long with that ugly old woman with that frightful costume without laughing in her face?" "Oh, that's easy. She is my wife." ... How did that fight between the bridge tenders end
"How did that fight between the bridge tenders end?" "It was fought to a draw--and they both fell in!" ...