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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




How are you to-day

Puns Home











"How are you to-day?"



"Oh, I can't kick."



"Thought you were ill."



"I am--I have the gout."











Next: Let me see said the minister

Previous: I saw a sign in a hardware store to-day 'Cast iron sinks



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Puns

Servant--the Plumber Says This Check Should Be $5 More
Have You Received Last Month's Gas Bill Dear
John--say Do You Want To Get Next To A Scheme For Making Money Fast
Mrs
So You Paid $1,000 For A Cook Stove
I'm The Champion Long Distance Cornet Player
A Boy Who Is Frequently Chastised Both By His Mother And Grandmother Speaks Of Them As A Spanking Team
You Should Sleep On Your Right Side Madam
A Recent School Examination In England Elicited The Following Definitions: Noah's Wife Wrote One Boy Was Called Joan Of Arc
Yes Said A Landlord Sadly Whose Tenant Had Made A Moonlight Flitting Appearances Are Deceitful; But Disappearances Are Still More So
Well Have You Anything To Say
In This Glorious Land Of The Free You Always Have To Pay For The Drinks In Order To Get A Whack At The Free Lunch
Pat And Mike Each Wanted To Be First Up On St
I Cannot Play Second Fiddle To Any One
Things Are Wrong Remarked The Observer Of Events And Things When A Reputable Physician Has To Pay Money For A Certificate To Practice And A Fourteen-year-old Girl With A New Piano Doesn't
An Emblem Of Tenuity We Witness Every Day; Behold The Corset-and You'll See The Whale-bone Comes To Stay
Why Do They Make Those Oriental Pipes With Bowls As Big As Water Pitchers
The Hawk Was Dozing
You Ought To Sleep Well, You Lie So Easily
I Sent A Dollar Last Week Said The Good Thing In Answer To That Advertisement Offering A Method Of Saving One-half My Gas Bills
The Weary Desert Stretched For Miles
What Relation Is A Door-step To A Door-mat
Lawyer: Have You Conscientious Scruples Against Serving As A Juror Where The Penalty Is Death
Jim--why Do You Wear Your Stocking Wrong Side Outward
The Speaker Of The House Is In Deadly Peril When Every Member On The Floor Wants To Get His Eye