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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




How did you cure your boy of swearing

Puns Home











"How did you cure your boy of swearing?"



"By the laying on of hands, principally."











Next: Ma what is a Panama man called

Previous: Knock and the world knocks with you



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Puns

In One Way The Clock Makers Are Independent Of Labor Troubles
A Wag Who Thought To Have A Joke At The Expense Of An Irish Provision Dealer Said Can You Supply Me With A Yard Of Pork
Corbett And Fitzsimmons Will Never Fight Again
Coleridge Who Was A Bad Rider Was Accosted When On Horseback By A Wag Who Asked Him If He Knew What Happened To Balaam The Same Thing That Happened To Me--an Ass Spoke To Him
Girls And Billiard Balls Kiss Each Other With Just About The Same Amount Of Real Feeling
Old Jones Was Killed Last Night By A Dew-drop
He--then I Am To Understand That You Have Given Me The Mitten As It Were
About The Only Time My Tailor Gives His Customers Regular Fit Said Buttons Is When They Neglect To Pay Their Bills
Held By The Enemy--the Ulster Which We Are Unable To Redeem
An English Motorist Is Quoted As Saying That He Classed Pedestrians As The Quick And The Dead: Those Who Got Out Of The Way And Those Who Didn't
Hey Boy Where's Your Brother
If A Guest At A Restaurant Ordered A Lobster And Ate It And Another Guest Did The Same What Would The Latter's Telephone Number Be
And You Really Believe That Friday Is An Unlucky Day
A Boy Who Is Frequently Chastised Both By His Mother And Grandmother Speaks Of Them As A Spanking Team
There Is As Much Strength In An Egg As In A Pound Of Meat
Since I've Been Married I Don't Get Half Enough To Eat
Lawyers Practice At The Bar While Bartenders And Mosquitoes Practice Inside Of It
Ikey--fader Is Imbegunious Undt Inzolvent Der Same
Did You Have Any Trouble With Black Ants In Ireland Bridget
I Want To Get A Head Of Cabbage Said The Man Who Had Been Sent To Market
I Wonder What The Holes In A Porous Plaster Are For
Cleverton--miss Cutler Tells Me She Has Been Putting Quinine On Her Face Lately For Her Complexion
Can You Swim Little Boy
Yes Said A Landlord Sadly Whose Tenant Had Made A Moonlight Flitting Appearances Are Deceitful; But Disappearances Are Still More So
Smith--they Say That After A Time The Engineer Of A Limited Flyer Loses His Nerve