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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




MRS

Puns Home









MRS. PENDERGAST (in disgust)--You call these shades alike! Is

there anything you can match?



MR. PENDERGAST--Yes. Pennies.











Next: Pressed for work--cider

Previous: I am told said she saucily that though you are a military man you are afraid of powder



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Puns

Customer (to The Coal Dealer): Have You Got Any Name For Those Scales Of Yours
Weeks--well How Are Things Over In Boston
She--i Think This A Lovely Hat You Bought Me George But Really It's A Sin To Pay $50
Mrs
Do You Know George Papa Thinks You Are A Literary Man
Castles In The Air Are Walled In By Fancy Remarked The Poet
I Am Told Said She Saucily That Though You Are A Military Man You Are Afraid Of Powder
What Is A Swell Affair Jim
Don't Doubt The Veteran Who Tells You He Was Always Where The Bullets Were Thickest; Perhaps He Was Hiding Under The Ammunition Wagon
He Who Courts And Goes Away May Court Again Another Day; But He Who Weds And Courts Girls Still May Go To Court Against His Will
I'm The Champion Long Distance Cornet Player
What A Distinguished Looking Man
I Wonder Why Blondes Are Always Anxious To Be Wedded
Don't Pen Missives To Your Best Girl On Postal Cards
A Boil In The Pot Is Worth Two On The Neck
I Hear Smith The Sea Captain Is In Hard Luck
He: Do You Know Dear You Remind Me Of Huyler's Candy
Cholly--ethel Knox Told Me Last Night I Wasn't Over Half-witted
What Is The Meaning Of The Saying That A Man Shall Earn His Bread In The Sweat Of His Brow
Dearest Whispered Cordelia After She Had Captured The Coveted Solitaire I Have A Confession To Make
This Wireless Telegraphy Reminds Me Of A Groundless Quarrel
It's A Good Idea To Make Light Of Your Troubles
Mrs
What Makes Your Sister So Stout Now She Used To Be Very Thin
Did You Hear About Miss Jones