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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




MRS

Puns Home









MRS. PENDERGAST (in disgust)--You call these shades alike! Is

there anything you can match?



MR. PENDERGAST--Yes. Pennies.











Next: Pressed for work--cider

Previous: I am told said she saucily that though you are a military man you are afraid of powder



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Puns

I See Villainy In Your Face Said A Judge To A Prisoner
Where Are You Going My Pretty Maid
A Painter Who Fell Off A Scaffold With A Pot Of Paint In Each Hand Said: Well I Came Down With Flying Colors Anyhow
Mr
How Could You Endure Talking So Long With That Ugly Old Woman With That Frightful Costume Without Laughing In Her Face
A Man With The Heart Disease Is About The Only Chap Who Desires A Regular Beat For A Bosom Friend
--i'm Very Sorry For That Boy
A Mechanic His Labor Will Often Discard
When A Man Is Short Of Money He Finds Most Of His Friends Whom He Meets Short-sighted
Mistress (to Cook Who Has Fallen Down Stairs)--i Hope That You Did Not Hurt Yourself Mary
They Cannot Be Complete In Aught Who Are Not Humorously Prone; A Man Without A Merry Thought Can Hardly Have A Funny Bone
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Caller--wonder If I Can See Your Mother Little Boy
Telephone Operators Are Always Bound To Have The Last Word; That's Why Females Are Always Employed In That Capacity
Miss Prim Is A Very Proper Young Lady
A Lady One Day Being In Need Of Some Small Change Called Down-stairs To The Cook And Enquired: Mary Have You Any 'coppers' Down There
Johnny--what Makes You Look So Tired
Franklin--do You Know I Started In Life As A Barefooted Boy
He--then I Am To Understand That You Have Given Me The Mitten As It Were
It's Very Puzzling Said A Worried Looking Woman To One Of Her Neighbors
An Emblem Of Tenuity We Witness Every Day; Behold The Corset-and You'll See The Whale-bone Comes To Stay
Can You Give Me A Front Room On The First Floor
Who Was The First One That Came From The Ark When It Landed
My Lord Said The Foreman Of An Irish Jury When Giving In His Verdict We Find The Man Who Stole The Mare Not Guilty
He's A Professional Grafter