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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




MRS

Puns Home









MRS. PENDERGAST (in disgust)--You call these shades alike! Is

there anything you can match?



MR. PENDERGAST--Yes. Pennies.











Next: Pressed for work--cider

Previous: I am told said she saucily that though you are a military man you are afraid of powder



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Puns

She--you Can't Eat Cake And Keep It
Aren't You Afraid Dear You'll Catch Cold In The Scanty Bathing Robe
We Have German Bands And French Bands And American Bands But You Never Hear Of An Irish Band
The Rapidity Of Ocean Transport Is Becoming Truly Marvelous
Johnny--what Makes You Look So Tired
A Dude From St
Do You Know George Papa Thinks You Are A Literary Man
You Shouldn't Drink Your Whiskey Without Water
About The Only Time My Tailor Gives His Customers Regular Fit Said Buttons Is When They Neglect To Pay Their Bills
Is The Proprietor In
What Kind Of Hen Lays The Longest
Oh I Am Awfully Worried
When Was Money First Invented
The Wife (savagely)--don't Let Me Catch You Flirting
Seven Little Missionaries-- Horrible Their Fate-- Cannibals Picked Clean Their Bones Then They Were Ate
And So Prof
Charley Dear Said Young Mrs
What Are You Going To Do With Your Boy
Some Men Divide Their Lives Between Trying To Forget And Trying To Recover From The Effects Of Trying To Forget
Electricity Is A Great Educator
A Woman Never Fully Understands The Hardness Of The World Until She Falls Off A Bicycle A Few Times
Coleridge Who Was A Bad Rider Was Accosted When On Horseback By A Wag Who Asked Him If He Knew What Happened To Balaam The Same Thing That Happened To Me--an Ass Spoke To Him
Permit Me Then To Die At Your Feet
Student--professor Which Is The Logical Way Of Reaching A Conclusion
It Was This A-way Jedge: Ye See I Doled De Cards And Jim Brown He Had A Pah Of Aces And A Pah Of Kings