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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




A farmer once called his cow Zephyr She seemed such an amiable hephyr

Puns Home











A farmer once called his cow "Zephyr,"

She seemed such an amiable hephyr.

When the farmer drew near,

She kicked off his ear,

And now the old farmer's much dephyr.











Next: Are you engaged

Previous: I don't give a rap said the coachman haughtily as he rang the electric bell



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Puns

That Said The Loaf Pointing To The Oven Is Where I Was Bred
You Haven't A Cent And Yet Wish To Marry Miss Bilyan
That Tenor Of Yours Has A Marvelous Voice
I Hear They Are Trying To Close Up The Gambling Establishments In New York
She--i Had A $5 Bill In This Dictionary Yesterday And I Can't Find It Anywhere
Friend--do You Permit Your Wife To Have Her Own Way
A Man Stole A Harness The Other Day And Never Left A Trace
She--are You Fond Of Tea
A Farmer Once Called His Cow Zephyr She Seemed Such An Amiable Hephyr
--i Want To Be An Angel
Yes He's Got A Flying-machine Ready For A Trial Now And He's Trying Hard Not To Be Proud
Tom--what's That
Biggs--that Butcher Is An Awkward Fellow
Attorney For The Defense--have You Ever Been Cross-examined Before
Teacher--thomas Can You Tell Me Which Battle Nelson Was Killed In
Girls And Billiard Balls Kiss Each Other With Just About The Same Amount Of Real Feeling
Teacher--yes Dear; Ova Refers To An Egg
It Doesn't Do Any Good To Scold The Janitor About Our Cold Rooms
Jimson--now You Wouldn't Marry Me Would You
John Can You Tell Me The Difference Between Attraction Of Gravitation And Attraction Of Cohesion
When The Penniless Lordling To Get A Rich Wife Of His Own Nationality Fails He Crosses The Ocean With Heart Light And Gay And Robs The United States Males
Castles In The Air Are Walled In By Fancy Remarked The Poet
Jack--are You A Suitor For Miss Juliet's Hand
Judge--you Are Charged With Profanity
When Were Walking-sticks First Invented