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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Ah
Mrs
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




GROCERYMAN--Pat do you like apples

Puns Home











GROCERYMAN--"Pat, do you like apples?"



PAT--"Sure, sor, Oi wudn't ate an apple for the world."



"Why how is that?"



"Ough! didn't me ould mother die av apple plexy?"











Next: See here sir remonstrated the young gentleman I got up to give my seat to the lady not to you

Previous: A woman fell overboard from a ship yesterday and a shark came up and looked her over and went away



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Puns

Brown--up At Hagenbeck's Show There Is A Large Bear That Hugs A Woman Without Killing Her
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
He--i'll Go To-morrow And Buy A Diamond Engagement Ring
What Kind Of Essence Does A Young Man Like When He Pops The Question
Haven't I Told You Before He Cried To Sing Out The Names Of Stations Clearly And Distinctly
Askit-what Is A Convenient Fall Trip For Me To Take
Would You Said The Reporter Who Gets Novel Interviews Tell Me What Book Helped You Most In Life
Fred--did You Hear Of The Western Furniture Co
My Face Is My Fortune Sir She Said But Her Suitor Saw Right Through Her; She Meant She Could Not Cash A Check Unless The Banker Knew Her
Some Fellows Marry Poor Girls To Settle Down And Others Marry Rich Ones To Settle Up
We Have German Bands And French Bands And American Bands But You Never Hear Of An Irish Band
What Is The Difference Between The Admission To A Dime Museum And The Admission To Sing Sing
What Is The Meaning Of The Saying That A Man Shall Earn His Bread In The Sweat Of His Brow
There Are Many Sweet Entrancing Moments In This Life But When A Man Steps On Your Pet Corn You Do Not Experience One Of Them
Lady (after The Tramp Finishes Eating)--it's Merely A Suggestion--the Woodpile Is In The Back Yard
How To Signal A Bark--pull A Dog's Tail
She--why Do They Call It An Arm Of The Sea
You Treat Me Cried Mrs
He--yes She Is Living Under An Assumed Name
I Hear They Are Trying To Close Up The Gambling Establishments In New York
An Irishman Just Landed Seeing An Electric-motor Car Running For The First Time Exclaimed: Well Well Ould Nick Must Be Pullin' It Wid A String
A Notice At A Small Depot Near Manchester Reads: Passengers Are Requested To Cross Over The Railway By The Subway
Only A Silver Watch Said The Pawnbroker
Ida--yes Dear This Is One Of Those 'perfume' Concerts The Same As They Have In New York
This Life's A Game Of Chance They Say: The Saw's More Sad Than Witty The Public Gathers 'round To Play The Trust Controls The Kitty