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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




What did de lady do when yer asked her for an old collar

Puns Home









"What did de lady do when yer asked her for an old collar?"



"She gave me a turndown."











Next: Are any of the colors discernible to the touch

Previous: We don't always know just how the other half lives; but in Chicago the better half lives on her alimony



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Puns

A Teacher In A High School Asked A Little Wad Of An Irish Boy To Describe A Lake
Husband--that Ice Box Of Ours Reminds Me Of A Good Pinochle Player
First Fly--did It Ever Occur To You The Baldheaded Men Have A Keener Sense Of Humor Than Others
For Mercy Sake Don't Put Me Near Old Billions
The Other Day The Head Of A Boarding-school Noticed One Of The Boys Wiping His Knife On The Table-cloth And Pounced On Him At Once
Dame Rumor Ought Frequently To Have Her Named Spelled Without The E
Say Dad What Is An Expert Accountant
Where Are You Going My Pretty Maid
Visitor--i Suppose You Have A Great Deal Of Poetry Sent Into You For Publication
Merchant (to His Confidential Clerk)--here's A Letter From Mr
--when Mrs
I Saw A Sign In A Hardware Store To-day 'cast Iron Sinks
After Wedding A Rich Heiress Price Said Gambling's A Terrible Vice But One Thing I Know This Matching For Dough Is A Thing That's Exceedingly Nice
He--time And Tide Wait For No Man
Wife-will You See That My Grave Is Kept Green My Darling
Betty, Why Do You Sit Up At This Hour Of The Night Darning Your Stockings
'tis Now The Wily Urchin Mocks The Lynx-eyed Cop Along The Docks And Plunges In The Cooling Tide Arrayed In Naught Else But His Hide
Let Me See Said The Minister
Mrs
Mary Had A Little Waist Where Waists Were Meant To Grow And Everywhere The Fashions Went Her Waist Was Sure To Go
How Could You Endure Talking So Long With That Ugly Old Woman With That Frightful Costume Without Laughing In Her Face
--that Jersey Murderer Was Clever To Get Off As He Did Wasn't He
Pa Said Little Williewho Had Been Reading A Treatise On
If Said The Druggist You Will Give This New Tonic A Trial I'm Sure You Will Never Use Any Other
What's The Matter With Smith