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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




Betty, why do you sit up at this hour of the night darning your stockings

Puns Home










"Betty, why do you sit up at this hour of the night darning your

stockings?" said mother, sharply; "don't you know it's 12

o'clock?"



"Oh, yes," laughed Betty, "but it's never too late to mend!"











Next: Now why remarked the little dog in speaking to the tree Would you say that the heart of you is like the tail of me

Previous: LADY--What



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Puns

Two Irish Farmers Who Had Not Seen Each Other For A Long Time Met At A Fair
George You Look Exhausted She Said To Him As He Was Putting On His Hat And Coat
Mrs
Where Are You Working Now
What A Distinguished Looking Man
Mr
What Did De Lady Do When Yer Asked Her For An Old Collar
Pa What Branches Did You Take When You Went To School
Let Me See Said The Minister
My Dear What Makes You Always Yawn
He--the Bride Looks Radiant As Brides Usually Do
Irish Foreman To Gang Of Men In A Sewer: How Many Men Is Down In That Hole
This Life's A Game Of Chance They Say: The Saw's More Sad Than Witty The Public Gathers 'round To Play The Trust Controls The Kitty
Caller--wonder If I Can See Your Mother Little Boy
Teacher--when Does Suicide Become A Crime
Guest--what Have You Got
Says His Lordship To Thomas Your Rent I Must Raise I'm So Plaguily Pinch'd For The Pelf
Yes Dear Said The Petted Young Wife Examining Her Christmas Gift These Diamond Earrings Are Pretty But The Stones Are Awfully Small
The Wife (savagely)--don't Let Me Catch You Flirting
A Squall On The Sea Is A Stress Of Weather And A Squaller On Land Is A Songstress
If You Want To See A Strong Organization Look At The Whisky Dealers; If You Want To See A Weak One Look At The Consumers
I Sent A Dollar Last Week Said The Good Thing In Answer To That Advertisement Offering A Method Of Saving One-half My Gas Bills
The First Impulse Of The Young Married Man On Being Presented With His First Baby Is To Give It A-weigh
The Doctor--you Regard Society As Merely A Machine Do You
You Haven't A Cent And Yet Wish To Marry Miss Bilyan