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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


Least Viewed

What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




For mercy sake don't put me near old Billions

Puns Home









"For mercy sake, don't put me near old Billions!" said Mrs.

Lookyoung to her friend.



"Why not?" said the other. "He's awfully interesting."



"I know it," said Mrs. Lookyoung, "but I never sit next to him at

dinner but that he blurts out something like, 'You remember back

in the old pioneer days!'"











Next: Mary had a little waist Where waists were meant to grow And everywhere the fashions went Her waist was sure to go

Previous: A sporty young fellow named Phipps Last night went to view the eclipse



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Puns

I Was At A Banquet Last Night
I Sent A Dollar Last Week Said The Good Thing In Answer To That Advertisement Offering A Method Of Saving One-half My Gas Bills
A Lady Was Looking For Her Husband And Inquired Anxiously Of A Housemaid Do You Happen To Know Anything Of Your Master's Whereabouts
--so Ethel Is To Marry That Young Bob Halstey; Why He Has Been Jilted By Half A Dozen Girls
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Jones--well We Had An Addition To Our Family Yesterday
I'm Not Surprised That Hair-dressers Feel So Much At Ease In The Society Of The Great
Speaking Of Accommodating Hotel Clerks Remarked A Portland Commercial Traveller The Best I Ever Saw Was In A Town Near Bangor
Did You Hear The Story About The Peacock
A Woman Fell Overboard From A Ship Yesterday And A Shark Came Up And Looked Her Over And Went Away
Seven Little Missionaries-- Horrible Their Fate-- Cannibals Picked Clean Their Bones Then They Were Ate
When A Man Is Short Of Money He Finds Most Of His Friends Whom He Meets Short-sighted
First Comedian--did You Score A Hit With Your New Specialty
A Poacher Surprised At His Work And Pursued In His Escape By A Vengefully Thrown Axe Remarked As He Vaulted A Fence: I Have No Fault To Find With Your Remarks But I Object To The Axe-sent
When The Old Man Is Shaking Down The Furnace Carrying Out The Ashes Feeding The Cat And Six Kittens And Making The Beds Remarked The Observer Of Events And Things Of Course He Is Too Busy To Hear His Daughter In The Parlor Singing: 'everybody Works Bu
She--you Say Your Automobile Has Been Acting Strangely All Day
Each Evening A Good-looking Mr
I'm The Champion Long Distance Cornet Player
He--time And Tide Wait For No Man
Lady (after The Tramp Finishes Eating)--it's Merely A Suggestion--the Woodpile Is In The Back Yard
Sunday School Teacher--what Is Meant In The Parable By A House Built Upon A Rock
--no Matter How High An Awning May Be Suspended It Is Only A Shade Above The Street
So You Paid $1,000 For A Cook Stove
A Woman's Shoe That Is A Mile Too Big Is Never A Foot In Length
A Young Lady In Philadelphia Is Said To Have Had Five Lovers All Named Samuel