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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




See here sir remonstrated the young gentleman I got up to give my seat to the lady not to you

Puns Home









"See here, sir," remonstrated the young gentleman, "I got up to

give my seat to the lady, not to you."



"Ach, dat's all right. She's my vife," he responded placidly. And

he kept the seat.











Next: My son said the good old man if you only work hard enough when you undertake a thing you're bound to be at the top when you've finished

Previous: GROCERYMAN--Pat do you like apples



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Puns

Electricity Is A Great Educator
I Was In The Depot Restaurant Of One Of The Great Railroads And Was Asked Why Am I Standing While Drinking My Coffee
What A Distinguished Looking Man
A Recent School Examination In England Elicited The Following Definitions: Noah's Wife Wrote One Boy Was Called Joan Of Arc
How About The Lazy Man Who Hurt His Eye Looking For Work
Yeast--did You Ever Try To Dye Eggs
What Have You Got To Say For Yourself
There Is A Presbyterian In Jersey City So Openly Opposed To Baptism By Immersion That He Refuses To Carry A Waterbury Watch
Did You Ever Hear About The Two Holes In Our Back-yard
What Do You Think Of The Statement That There Are Three Hundred Haunted Houses In New York
Actor Friend (inquiring At Boarding House)--has Mr
Business Men Who Marry Their Typewriter Girls Are Apt To Find That The Young Women Are Not So Ready To Submit To Dictation After The Wedding
I Wonder What The Holes In A Porous Plaster Are For
Pa What Branches Did You Take When You Went To School
The Glazier Is Not Necessarily A Tiresome Man Because He Gives You A Pane
Some One Threw A Head Of Cabbage At An Irish Orator While He Was Making A Speech Once
That Tenor Of Yours Has A Marvelous Voice
Franklin--do You Know I Started In Life As A Barefooted Boy
Says His Lordship To Thomas Your Rent I Must Raise I'm So Plaguily Pinch'd For The Pelf
Only The Highest Element In Local Society Was Invited To The Ball
Only A Silver Watch Said The Pawnbroker
What's The Matter Here
We Don't Always Know Just How The Other Half Lives; But In Chicago The Better Half Lives On Her Alimony
Guard--i Suppose When You Were In The Army You Often Saw A Picket Fence
Tommy--pa Did You Really Mean It When You Said You'd Spank Anyone That Broke That Vase