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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




What's the matter here

Puns Home









"What's the matter here?"



"Man broke his neck."



"What story did he fall from?"



"Didn't fall--tried to see the top of the building."











Next: According to a florist's magazine Jacks are becoming cheap

Previous: Nature never allows anything to run to waist



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Puns

That Said The Loaf Pointing To The Oven Is Where I Was Bred
I Hate A Liar Wiggins Cried Said Jiggins Then 'twould Seem You Really Ought To Try And Hide Your Lack Of Self-esteem
A Sporty Young Fellow Named Phipps Last Night Went To View The Eclipse
A Poacher Surprised At His Work And Pursued In His Escape By A Vengefully Thrown Axe Remarked As He Vaulted A Fence: I Have No Fault To Find With Your Remarks But I Object To The Axe-sent
There Are Many Sweet Entrancing Moments In This Life But When A Man Steps On Your Pet Corn You Do Not Experience One Of Them
The Old Lady Who Sent As Presents To A Newly-married Couple A Rolling-pin A Pain Of Flat-irons And A Motto Inscribed Fight On Must Have A Grudge Against Them
I'm Nearly Starved
Mr
First Fly--did It Ever Occur To You The Baldheaded Men Have A Keener Sense Of Humor Than Others
Lovett--you Don't Believe In Divorce Then
Of The Heroine In One Of The Latest Sensational Novels It Is Said: Her Eyes Chained Him To The Spit
Full Many A Coat Tail That Is Long And Wide Does From The Public Gaze Two Monstrous Patches Hide
Yes Said A Landlord Sadly Whose Tenant Had Made A Moonlight Flitting Appearances Are Deceitful; But Disappearances Are Still More So
Yankee--i Say Britisher Can You Spell Horse
No Indeed She Said I Can Never Be Your Wife
Will The Coming Man Use Both Arms
You Shouldn't Drink Your Whiskey Without Water
The Impecunious Young Man Who Marries A Girl With A Substantial Check Attached May Very Properly Be Said To Have Been Checkmated
Dear Said The Physician's Wife When Can You Let Me Have Ten Dollars
Brown--i Hear That They Use All Sorts Of Materials In The Manufacture Of Illuminating Gas Nowadays
Old Lady (at A Ball Game)--why Do They Call That A Fowl
I Am Quite Surprised Mr
What Do You Think Of Windig
Each Evening A Good-looking Mr
May--i Wonder What The Men Do At The Club