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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




What's the matter here

Puns Home











"What's the matter here?"



"Man broke his neck."



"What story did he fall from?"



"Didn't fall--tried to see the top of the building."











Next: According to a florist's magazine Jacks are becoming cheap

Previous: Nature never allows anything to run to waist



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Puns

You Are Making Yourself Rather Officious In This Crowd Said A Burly Policeman To A Notorious Pickpocket
Smith--they Say That After A Time The Engineer Of A Limited Flyer Loses His Nerve
Mrs
My Son Said The Good Old Man If You Only Work Hard Enough When You Undertake A Thing You're Bound To Be At The Top When You've Finished
My Face Is My Fortune Sir She Said But Her Suitor Saw Right Through Her; She Meant She Could Not Cash A Check Unless The Banker Knew Her
You Should Sleep On Your Right Side Madam
It's A Good Idea To Make Light Of Your Troubles
Can You Swim Little Boy
When A Man Is Short Of Money He Finds Most Of His Friends Whom He Meets Short-sighted
What Is The Best Way To Raise Cabbage
He Has None Of The Finer Sensibilities Nothing To Distinguish Him From The Common Herd
Some Of Us Have More Ups And Downs In This World Than Others But When We Get To The Cemetery We Will All Be On The Dead Level
He--i'll Go To-morrow And Buy A Diamond Engagement Ring
Pressed For Work--cider
Are You The Photographer
Kind Lady Remarked The Weary Wayfarer Can You Oblige Me With Something To Eat
You Have Been Losing Flesh Lately Haven't You
A Notice At A Small Depot Near Manchester Reads: Passengers Are Requested To Cross Over The Railway By The Subway
A Butcher Knows How To Make Both Ends Meet
--i'm Very Sorry For That Boy
Tommy--yes Cats Can See In The Dark And So Can Ethel; 'cause When Mr
Soloman Soloman--our Frent Cohen Must Pe Goin' T' Haf A Fire
A Man Wanted A Ticket To New York And Only Had A $2 Bill
Well, Pat, And How Is That Bull-pup Of Yours Doing
The Girl Who Marries A Title Very Frequently Turns Her Fortune To A Count