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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




What is the secret of success

Puns Home









"What is the secret of success?" asked the Sphinx.



"Push," said the Button.



"Never be led," said the Pencil.



"Take pains," said the Window.



"Always keep cool," said the Ice.



"Be up to date," said the Calendar.



"Never lose your head," said the Barrel.



"Make light of everything," said the Fire.



"Do a driving business," said the Hammer.



"Aspire to greater things," said the Nutmeg.



"Be sharp in all your dealings," said the Knife.



"Find a good thing and stick to it," said the Glue.



"Do the work you are suited for," said the Chimney.











Next: He kissed her on the cheek; It seemed a harmless frolic; He's been laid up a week-- They say with painter's colic

Previous: I saw your sister on the street to-day



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Puns

Husband--where's Your Mistress
Fannie--why Do People Always Apply The Name Of She To A City
There Appears To Be No Affinity Between The Prestidigitator And The Theatrical Manager Yet They Both Make Passes
I've Been Married Five Years And I've Got A Bushel Of Children
He Kissed Her On The Cheek; It Seemed A Harmless Frolic; He's Been Laid Up A Week-- They Say With Painter's Colic
The Tramp Should Never Complain Of Hunger When He Can Always Enjoy A Little Loaf
I'm Very Much Surprised Quoth Harry That Jane A Gambler Should Marry
These Verses Make No Sense Said She; I Can't Tell What They Mean
Husband--my Dear How Would You Like A Book For A Present
She--are You Fond Of Tea
I'll Never Ask Another Woman To Marry Me As Long As I Live
Courtney--when You Proposed To Miss Dexter Did You Get Down On Your Knees
What's The Matter Here
Pa What Branches Did You Take When You Went To School
Is Your Friend The Dentist A Society Chap
A Lady One Day Being In Need Of Some Small Change Called Down-stairs To The Cook And Enquired: Mary Have You Any 'coppers' Down There
As He Walked With Baby He Had To Confess That Marriage With Him Was A Howling Success
Mrs
Massachusetts Is Noted For Boots And Shoes
Love They Say Is Blind
Let Me See Said The Minister
Dearest Whispered Cordelia After She Had Captured The Coveted Solitaire I Have A Confession To Make
Did You Know That Xanthippe Wife Of One Of The Greatest Of Ancient Philosophers Was A Great Scold
Slopay--and Doctor If You Will I Wish You Would Give Me Something To Help My Memory
An Irishman Just Landed Seeing An Electric-motor Car Running For The First Time Exclaimed: Well Well Ould Nick Must Be Pullin' It Wid A String